The Help (2011)

Drama movie directed and written for screen by Tate Taylor.

Starring Emma Stone,Viola Davis, Jessica Chastain, Octavia Spencer, Ahna O' Reily,amonth others.

I feel relieved and thankful to have watched yet another touching film regarding universal themes such as love and equality. Two of the traits which when included in a film, really get into me.

The Help features a young and budding writer, Skeeter Phelan (Stone), as she not only tries to write her first book, but also invites the colored maids of Jackson, Mississippi to speak up about the good and bad sides of being a help to the white folks; some of which are Skeeter's own friends.

The movie is set during the height of Civil Rights movement in the United States. In Jackson, Miss., the colored community is everything but respected and treated equal. Members are all qualified as plain maids and servants to white families.

It was not easy for Skeeter to get the trust of maids like Aibileen Clark (Davis) and Minny Jackson (Spencer) for fear of being caught, identified, and rendered jobless. With the turn of unfortunate events toward the black community, plus their personal mishaps, however, they learned to confess to Skeeter. Their days and nights of storytelling later on turned as a publishing success which rocked their town and their lives.

The actors in this film naturally and strongly portrayed their characters, especially Davis, Chastain and Spencer. The supporting actors were felt as well. They deserve all ensemble acting awards they received for this :)

Let me go now to the strength of the film which is the story (as you may know by now, I am always into stories/ plots, and not necessarily into the music, production design, directing, or cinematography). Set in 1960's, the theme of the original novel from which it was adapted from is something most people- then and now- can relate to. Everywhere we could still see signs of discrimination, inequality and stereotyping. No matter how many bills were signed into law to combat the racists- the majority- we can never really assume full equality in this earth.

We grew up- or we are trying to correct- the concept that black is ugly; the browns are chimpanzee descendants. We always see the white as the glorious race, the black as the unfortunate ones, and those in between as Asians- short and studious. In the Philippines, our Muslim brothers and sisters are tagged as terrorists. The priests' image are currently challenged as being pedophiliac, while LGBT members are condemned for being sinners.

Time and history has proven that things can change for the minority, the underprivileged, the oppressed. There are movements and groups which actively promote what they think they deserve as a community. And thankfully, there are people who listen to them... and we need more of them.

In The Help, Skeeter is a hero. She may be a pursuing a career at first, but she ended up freeing emotional prisoners. She helped rebuild broken spirits. And that is what we should all try to achieve,no matter how hard it may seem. You see, there are ways when we can pursue the things we like, and still be able to be a blessing to other people. 

Watch it and relate yourself to any character in the film; from Skeeter, Aibileen, Celia (Chastain), and Minny. You have the option to be a hero, a dreamer, a success, a helper,a writer, an honorable person- all traits which you can proudly wear as badges of honor. 

All men are equal. Remember that!

Segue: The novel The Secret Life of Bees written by Sue Monk Kidd also tackles the issues of the black in the early 60's. Here's my take on it: http://rossmanicad.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-secret-life-of-bees-2002.html

A Thousand Splendid Suns (2007)

Khaled Hosseini/ Novel

Here is another heartbreaking story from my favorite novelist, Khaled.

A Thousand Splendid Suns chronicles the lives of two women in Afghanistan society, and how they struggled for hope amidst the cruelty, violence, injustice, and war surrounding their unfortunate country for the last 30 years.

Mariam

Mariam is an illegitimate child (harami) of a wealthy businessman (Jalil), and his servant (Nana). For the sake of Jalil's good name, Nana and young Mariam is then forced to live in a faraway kolba (shack). 

Jalil visits them weekly, receiving different reactions. Mariam is all smiles and excitement every time she opens his gifts and listen to his stories on how he deals with his businesses. On the other hand, Nana is anything but warm to Jalil. 

Young Mariam does not understand her mother's utter hatred for Jalil. She believes that one day, Jalil would let her experience what his ten children from three other wives are experiencing in the city. Nana insists otherwise.

This confusion develops into mistrust and into a hasty decision. Mariam leaves Nana for Jalil. Nana feels hopeless upon Mariam's leaving. Thus, she ends her life, instantly.

Laila

Laila is the youngest and only daughter of a university professor (Babi) and a renowned gossiper (Mammi) in their community in Kabul. She has an endearment with her cousin, Tariq- a one legged, handsome young man. Laila is a promise and hope to the people who know her. Babi insists that she finish her education because Afghanistan will soon need empowered women in its social affairs. Laila affirms this thought.

However, Laila is unfortunate enough to deal with growing up and surviving. She has her fair share of challenges as well. At an early age: she loses her two brothers who fought with the Soviets; to her mother, she is shadowed by her brothers' heroism; she loses a dear friend to war; she has to stop schooling; and worst, the war also kills both her parents, and her, almost.

Fortunately- or unfortunately for Laila, an old widower named Rasheed finds her almost lifeless body in the street and help her live again. 

Rasheed is the man whom Jalil has entrusted Mariam to marry in a simple nikka (Islam wedding). 

Two women. One man. One house.

Rasheed and Mariam has long been married before Laila came in their quiet- oftentimes muted- household. Mariam suffers from eight or so miscarriages. To Rasheed, she is a useless wife. Maybe to Rasheed she is, but as the story develops, Mariam is nothing but salvation to people she genuinely loves. 

Laila easily becomes the noor (light; favorite) in Rasheed's eyes because of her beautiful youth. He then proposes marriage to this hopeless girl. As Islamic traditions have it, Rasheed can marry more than one wife in his lifetime. Laila accepts the foolish offer. 

Mariam and Laila's relationship does not start off good. Mariam fears the day that Laila would give Rasheed a child- a son; one simple thing she constantly fails at. And it comes true. In time, though, Mariam and Laila lean on each other for survival.They opt to trust each other because regardless of age gap or childhood, they are suffering the same ill fate of being Rasheed's wife. 
***

From there the story develops... A Thousand Splendid Suns is not for everybody. I have a lot of friends who read books, but would not open a heartbreaking novel. The reason Khaled is my favorite novelist is that he writes beautifully and would leave you hoping that he mentions the next part to you without having to flip the page. As others say it, unputdownable!

His beautiful writing is a compensation for the horror and sorrow in his novel's characters. Like Mariam and Laila, along with other protagonists in the Suns, they all suffered unpleasant fates. There were chapters where I was breathing heavily due to what was happening to them. To my wonder, how can one person think of all these things? But like John Green once wrote: when we know sorrow, we know joy :)

And that is when the redeeming factor of Hosseini's novels comes in. There is always a promise of a better tomorrow for the characters who remain alive. There is always the promise of a thousand splendid suns. 

On another note, if you are innately interested in Islamic culture, you should really read Khaled's works. In them, Hosseini expounds on the impacts of a male dominated culture, women's subversion and oppresion and the issues concerning the relevance of Islamic rules and practices to modern societal settings- in terms of religion, customs and traditions, and gender equality,of course.

I wish I had the energy to write more about this novel. But as a blog is, I just recommend that you read his works and experience suffering within pages. Don't you worry, child, after reading his novels, you would never think of hardships as cul-de-sacs or dead end. In his works, hardships and suffering are essential to personal freedom and pursuit of life. No matter how we deny it, it's true :)

Here's what I could say about Khaled's first novel, 'The Kite Runner'...
http://rossmanicad.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-kite-runner-2003.html

P.S. I am so excited for Khaled's third novel "And The Mountains Echoed" coming this May 2013! :) The books is set for release on May 21 in the US, May 22 in the Philippines- my birthday :)

(Photos courtesy of Tumblr)

Sights and Scenes: BORACAY!

March 01-04, 2013.

Days when I went to see and feel what most tourists say as the best summer destination- Boracay Island. This world-famous white beach is situated just a boat ride from Katiklan Airport in Aklan. 

I was with Mylene and Arianne, both college friends, along with other acquaintances. After landing and before leaving Kalibo airport, we were generously accommodated by Hsam's family who fortunately owns a restaurant and a resort in Kalibo, named Miggy's.

We reached the island by night time.Thus, we witnessed it's night life and its length of buffet offerings. By midnight we watched fire dancers energetically swirled their poi accompanied by pop music. We just spent the night with a simple dinner and got inked!

"All Is Well"; battle cry of my college buddies; Barkadang Walang Pangalan.

By day, we dared some of its must-try activities. It was crazy how my friends cursed and screamed their lungs out at Fly Fish while I cried laughing at them, especially at Ayang. And because I was so engaged on laughing at them, I lost my grip and was thrown out of the water. Fly Fish was an absolute fun!

And then we went on a ride with an all terrain vehicle. My favorite activity! Our end point is the Mt. Luho viewpoint- Boracay's peak. Upon going back, Arianne's ATV malfunctioned, thus, leaving the two of us way behind everyone else. I was the last in the convoy and so, I had to ran after the team who were very far from us. I felt invincible driving my ATV at its fastest since the highway is free for swerving :) I still wish I could drive it everyday!

After which, we went on island cruising and snorkeling. Seeing the underwater world was amazing. It was a priceless experience looking down on the deep blue see and watching our marine friends go on with their daily lives... fishes and corals I cannot name but whose snapshot still lingered on my mind. I genuinely enjoyed looking at their world. I pray it would continue to remain that way- regularly visited yet undisturbed.

Speaking of the beauty of our natural resources, we stopped by the far end of the island and saw the infamous West Cove Hotel allegedly owned by Manny Pacquiao, or his good friend (as per PacMan). I was sad and disappointed to see how they agreed to have the mountain cut out and the huge rock formations refined just so they could have a summer hangout 'far' from GenSan, or wherever. 

This hotel cannot be found in the island, it was ON the island :( It looks good in pictures, but in reality, it was disappointing. I wish you could see first hand how the planned expansion on its left side was put on hold. Thanks to the National Building Code of the Philippines which pointed a finger on West Cove for threatening to destruct the fragile ecosystem of Boracay.

Anyway, our last morning in Boracay was spent 14 feet 'down under' via helmet diving, as we stared at the likes of Nemo. I was glad to have seen a stone fish :) Here is another sad part in this experience, our professional diver killed a sea urchin, opened it, took something from it, and gave it to the fishes as food. While he was killing the sea urchin, he was also carelessly and unconsciously hitting the corals :( It was for entertainment, but gave us another dismay, in turn.

To sum up all that we have been through in Boracay: it was unforgettable! Now I understand why some of my friends who have been there would anxiously wait for the day they would return. For four days, Boracay gave us an escape route, another world where we can be anyone, do anything, and experience everything. 

While the above may be my impression, I wish for certain things to change in Boracay. First, the prices of commodities and services are really expensive. As I observed, most Filipinos who are there are not actually tourists but entrepreneurs and middle men; making profit out of a foreigners' leisure. I am not saying it's wrong; it's actually good for their local economy. What I am concerned about is that at some point, they may forget to adjust these prices to locals, accordingly. And if that would be the case, then local tourists would not be able to experience all of Boracay's offerings because of financial constraints. I hope even one person gets my point here :)

Second thing: I hope that Boracay environmental authorities would be weary of the slow destruction of the marine life brought about by some water activities, like what the professional diver did during our helmet diving. Just to add, we snorkeled the second time at a shallower part of the sea and there, the corals were mostly dead (black). In the site of our helmet diving, the sight was also not lively; mostly coral remains.

Third, there are a lot of prostitutes by night; girls and gays, alike. It was as if they were hiding from the deep parts of the sea and would surface on the shore by dark, dressed with seaweeds. Yes, and you could still see some of them by 08 AM the following day. 

On another note, I would like to commend the security and peace-keeping authorities of the island for escorting vagabonds and panhandlers our of the beach. It was an awful sight to see a foreigner took a photo of a panhandling child, then gave him money afterwards. It was sad not because the child is poor and homeless, but because I am a Filipino, as well :( To me, it came across as if foreigners could screen capture our poverty (then exploit it in Facebook as part of their 'Boracay Getaway' album) and then pay us for it, afterwards.

Amidst all the pleasant- unpleasant sights and scenes in Boracay, one can truly find it as hideaway from the stresses in the Metro. You know that you are in the Philippines, but at the same time, it feels like  you're not. In Boracay, you can upgrade in being a photographer because every sight is picture perfect; nature gives you 'rule of thirds', effortlessly. The white sand is pure and not sticky. And most of all, you can be proud in saying that Boracay belongs to the Philippines.

Summer, indeed, is more fun in Boracay!


Related Albums:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.4430391286146.1073741825.1480044620&type=3
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10200362497039120.1073741825.1055827368&type=3

On Being Gay (and being straight)

-What happened to them this March-

This morning, I was bombared with blogs rebutting the article of Christine Bersola- Babao entitled "Being Gay" in PhilStar.com last March 11. In it, Tin Tin cited professional points from TV5's Face-To-Face resident psychologist Dr. Camille Garcia regarding children and homosexuality.


To sum up her points, Babao pointed that for Garcia, when a parent sees signs of homosexuality, s/he must make efforts to correct them the soonest ("arrest the situation" is Garcia's term) and reiterate to his son/ daughter what is his/her expected roles to play in society when s/he grows up; a little boy grows up as a gentleman while pretty little girl turns out to be a fine lady. 

While Tin Tin may have expressed a number of fair comments showing respect for the members of the LGBT community, it was not enough to calm netizens who are proudly carrying their coloured flags. Some tagged Tin Tin as 'bigot', and 'unfit parent'. No matter how sorry she was on twitter, she cannot calm down informed and fierce bloggers.

While reading the entries of certain Shakira Sison and Laurel Fantauzzo (both are lesbians, you may see their links at the end of this blog), I could not help but think of how I felt when I was a kid- when the world was still a blur for me, and how my neighbors, even some of my meanest relatives, stereotyped me because of how I act and react.

For the record: I did not grow up to be gay. I thought, however, I was until high school.


-What happened to me way back-

Looking back on my shitty memory lane, I remember being jokingly hugged and kissed too many times (I try to escape everytime but to no avail) by our neighbor who is a policeman. 

An uncle from my mother's side confidently predicted that one day I'll be managing my own parlor shop and cut their hair. Hey, tito a**hole, unfortunately, I give hope to our needy kababayans thru my job and no matter how I like to, I cannot cut your hair because it will soon be gone. 

My cousins from my father's side would annually force me to recite the phrase "lalaki ako!" as manly as possible. Without confidence and certainty why choose me, I would say "lalaki ako", and I would receive faces of dismay and disapproval. I usually end up crying and hear my mom defend me "hindi, lalaki yan, may girlfriend nga yan, maganda eh"- referring to my puppy love.

For the record: We never were an official "thing".

By college, I am convinced to get out of the shadow and face the demons my relatives introduced me to. I pitied myself for the cowardice and insecurities I felt whenever discussion on gender and sexuality arose, especially during high school. A trusted friend once told me (not in exact words), "alam mo, hindi ka naman ganyan eh. Sila lang ang nagsabi niyan sa'yo, naniwala ka lang." She struck me like lightning. 

True enough, if the people who were expected to give me love, care, support, and proper (gender- appropriate) guidance gave me such, then I wouldn't have spent a decade or more confusing myself from who I really wanted to be vis-a-vis who they thought I was. 

I started to really know about myself through Faith. Only through it am I constantly assure that even if I could not erase the bad experiences with them, I have One Firm Believer who supports me, regardless. 


-So what happens now-

If you would ask me which side I am on this issue, well, both, but parts of the sides only. Like Tin Tin and Dr. Garcia, I affirm that parents need to accept their children regardless of who they grow up to be- straight one or proudly curved! However, if they see signs of gayness to their kids, they can address the issue, but up to a certain extent.


Meanwhile, I am on the side of Sison  and Fantauzzo who said that the role of a parent should be support and acceptance, not necessarily error-pining and threatening their kids. If they would calmly ask their child to confide to them, there would probably be room for conversation, hence, a healthy, open relationship. If parents were to be unwise of their language and be arresting of their child's acts, then expect the worse. As Shakira put it:

" If my parents locked me up when I decided to shave my head, get tattoos or pierce my ears. If my parents told me that God doesn’t like it if I don’t wear a skirt. If my parents disowned me when I told them I’d fallen in love with a girl. They wouldn’t not have a gay daughter. Instead, they would have lost a daughter."


I think a parent need not go to telling a child, "Alam mo anak, hindi namin gusto ang ginugusto mo," and "Hindi kasi tama ang makasama sa buhay at magpapamilya ay parehas na lalaki. Kung ayaw mo itama ang ginugusto mo, hindi namin matatanggap yun." like what Dr. Garcia advised. These are heavily condemning phrases, considering that you are talking to a child who perhaps doesn't understand gender roles yet.

I remember my father asking when I was a kid, "Anak, masyado kang madaldal, bakla ka ba?", and I would answer "hindi". To myself, is it wrong to be opinionated and curious? More so, I do not have memories of playing any sport with my father- or brother. I was just this studious boy who seeks information, knowledge and experience from the world. 

But this I say- I did not, in any way, took against my father how I got confused with who I am and what people tell me I am. You know why? because he never insisted which roles I have to play. Both my parents let me learn from the world. They trusted that in time, I will fall and get back up. I know there were times when they are confused for me, but they never sent an impression that I was on the wrong track and is going to a deadly life. They were just plainly supportive of my decisions and loving of my actions. Hence, I felt no pressure in finding out what the world could offer me, and take my best option among them.

I would not say I choose to be right. Because then I would imply that being gay is choosing to be wrong. To be one is not wrong. I have a number of LGB (no transgender yet) friends and they really bring genuine happiness to every occassion. They dare to discuss what's hidden and they are not afraid to take on the world differently. Like those who stick to their gender, LGBT members also love, live, dream, fail, survive, and pray.

If you are straight and happy, then I don't think you should tell a gay person he is unworthy of his happiness. You are not the owner of another person's life. You may observe and react, but you don't dictate. 

For the record: I love God. I love my Church. But I also love mankind. I respect diversity.

I guess what I wish for all of us- straight or not- is, let us be genuinely happy for ourselves and others. When I was a kid I would play 'ten-twenty'. The one girls mostly play using garter that you jump inside-and-outside to. I overheard a neighbor ask my mother: "bakit siya naglalaro ng ganyan?". My mom replied "hindi ko nga rin alam sa batang 'yan eh." 

Mawalang-galang na po, pero pakelam mo ba? Pumasok man lang ba sa isip mo na paglaki ko, pwede pa kong magbago? :) I made it through the toughest days of my childhood, and I don't think you should deprive me of making it to Level 5 of Ten-Twenty.


Related links:
1) http://www.philstar.com/entertainment/2013/03/11/918157/being-gay
2) http://www.shakirasison.com/being-gay-really/
3) http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/299095/opinion/to-filipino-parents-tempted-to-change-their-gay-children
4) http://www.rappler.com/entertainment/23640-tintin-bersola-babao-being-gay-online-flak

Photo Credit: www.rapppler.com (my favorite news site, now)

Room (2010)

Author: Emma Donoghue

“When I woke up in that shed, I thought nobody ever had it as bad as me. But slavery is not a new invention. And solitary confinement- do you know that in America we’ve got more than 25,000 prisoners in isolation cells?  Some of them for more than 20 years. As for kids, there’s places where babies lie in orphanages five to a cot with pacifiers taped into their mouths, kids getting raped by Daddy every night, kids in prison, whatever, making carpets till they go blind.”- Ma.

I just finished Donoghue’s Room where in an eleven-by-eleven room, Ma and Jack strive to survive everyday having relatively nothing, and possessing the very basic of furniture and commodities, as well as dealing with unannounced visits of Ma’s undesirable captor, Old Nick.

Seven years of isolation and captivity. To Ma, it’s worst while to innocent Jack, it was everything he ever needed. It hurts to read the first three chapters of the book (Presents, Unlying and Dying) because you know that the protagonists do not deserve the life they live. Fortunately though, this novel is an extensive fairy tale which gradually presents a happy ending to Ma and Jack’s life.

I have nothing but admiration for Ma’s utmost sacrifice for Jack’s welfare. At twenty six, she endured five years of creating and faking joy. Meanwhile, Jack is the youngest novel hero I have encountered yet.  At five, little boys should be out on the fields learning to play, fight, fall down, and stand up. With Jack though, his daily exercises made him save two lives- his and Ma’s.

Emma made use of Jack as the narrator, and so most of the sentences are incorrect, and constructed in a youngster’s language. To me, it is brave of a writer to enter a child’s world and create misery in innocence.  I can read it through the pages but I don’t think I can take my son suffering the harshness and diversity of the Outside world, if ever.

Room is a mix of fairy tale, suspense, drama and adventure. It is plain on the outside yet rich in details. For certain, all of us have memories in a particular place we wish we could forget, forever. This place may not have a secured lock or may not be located in a backyard, but we still find it hard to escape, permanently.

Let us try to be like Ma and Jack, no matter how hopeless our situation may be, there is always a way to get out, go back in reality, and live life anew, from then on.

Read Room and be free!