NOTE: This essay was published in Philippine Daily Inquirer's "Young Blood" column in January 21, 2016. You may see the article on this LINK.
Bidding 2015 farewell...
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| My 2015 #bestnine photos according to Instagram |
Your presence was marked with pleasant surprises, unexpected visitors, failed attempts, and difficult experiences.
You made yourself clear right from the start: you entered my
life to fill it with so much passion and adventure.
You were the essay that voiced out its disappointment about
the short-lived visit of Pope Francis in Leyte. You knew that you were not
pleasing but you insisted. Your honesty was antagonized by readers who told you
to just be grateful, at the least.
You were the amateur one-act plays submitted to a local theater
festival. You delivered my Easter Sunday surprise when you accepted my play
“The Wedding Planners” in the stage reading category of Virgin Labfest 11. You
allowed me to work with theater artists that I admire and you introduced us on
my 24th birthday. Clearly, you could not have chosen a better
timing!
You frequently caused traffic jams to inspire me with
additional scenes and dialogues to satisfy my director’s request for more depth
to the characters. You were the joke that I added a few hours before the show
and I thank God because the audience laughed out loud at you.
You were my loyal travel buddy when I went backpacking in
four Southeast Asian countries. You proved that indeed one knows thyself, and others,
from travelling alone.
You were the extremely hot Cambodia, affordable and busy Vietnam,
culturally intact Thailand, and laid-back Malaysia.
You walked with me through Siem Reap, and Phnom Penh,
Cambodia as the atheist British student who believed that your parents’ divorce
was the best thing that happened to your family. You were the female Malaysian
Muslim who told your parents you were just staying at a friend’s house, not
backpacking abroad, to secure their permission. You were the New York banker who
resigned from your job and travelled around Southeast Asia for months. You were
the Theravada Buddhism student who travelled with your best friend from China
who studies Mahayana Buddhism. I did not tell you this but I think you two were
having an affair because of your intimacy and by the looks of your smartphone
theme (pink and flowery).
You were the Taiwanese businessman who gave me a drink as we
waited for the rain to stop in the busy tourist district of Ho Chi Minh,
Vietnam. It made me sad to know that your girlfriend left you because she cannot
help you take care of your sick mother. I sincerely wish you happiness and good
luck. You were also the tour operator who I kissed under the influence of
alcohol, with no regrets. Putting aside my emotions, that move guaranteed me
cheaper tour fees and higher exchange rates. Rest assured that I admired your sweetness
and care.
You accommodated my short trip in Bangkok, Thailand as the
tour guide who aggressively sold us tamarind. You left me and my colleagues divided
with regard to your gender identity. Let me tell you that you were not the only
one who confused us during our stay. You were also the Red Light District
performers who inserted and pulled out every (un)imaginable prop to your genitals.
You were nonetheless entertaining.
You patiently stayed with me in a weeklong retreat in Sabah,
Malaysia. You were the British engineer who thought that everyone cares about
the Royal Family in England except its own people. You also pitied Queen
Elizabeth for “not having a normal, casual conversation throughout her reign so
she must have been bored for more than 60 years now.” You were the Muslim
engineer who will get married in May to your high school girlfriend because
your parents are pressuring you. I hope that unlike what you think, your fiancée
will allow you to travel alone.
You were the Filipina raised as a Catholic but converted to
Islam because you saw the inherent beauty of the religion. You were also the
undocumented Filipina Muslim whose life is confined between selling merchandise
in the City Mosque and staying inside your safe house. I seek Allah’s guidance
to give you wisdom in creating a new life in Sabah, given that you are eager to
marry a local. I hope that things get better from there.
You also taught me valuable lessons by not taking the human
form. You were the strong rain that made descending Mt. Ayaas’ dangerous. You
inspired me to see beauty through countless art works and forms within eight
local and foreign museums. You allowed me to surprise myself, my classmates and
mentor during my writing boot camp with Jessica Zafra. You convinced me that if
I were to have my first formal training in writing, it had better be under her.
You reminded me that my talent needs constant practice and if I want to be an
effective writer, I need to write more, observe often, and speak less.
While you gave me a lot reasons to be thankful for, you were
also a pain in the ass in some occasions. You were the all-knowing client that I
wish I never met; the boring account that I wish was more open to risks; the
bus driver who injured my wrist when you suddenly closed the door as I stepped
inside; and the unexplainable occasional pain in my stomach and chest.
You were the fear that crippled me from submitting entries
to two writing competitions because you told me I lack the experience and
drive. You were the work tasks that I cowardly executed because you demanded a
lot. You were the recurring anxiety that caused me to eat late, sleep for few
hours, and exercise less.
You were countless of Facebook ‘friends’ that I deleted
because you were negative, cynical, or plainly unfamiliar.
You were the person I regretted calling because you were no
longer interested to talk to me. After some time I redeemed myself and
seen-zoned you on Messenger because I already lost my interest too.
Looking back, I just want to focus on the bright side of
knowing you.
You fuelled my imagination, creativity and passion through
47 movies and 11 full-length theater plays that I watched, and 15 books and
three screenplays that I read. You also gave me much pleasure from drawing
portraits.
You were the countless punch lines that made me laugh out
loud while hanging out with my high school and college friends and officemates.
Being with you gave me a lot of ups and downs. I’m sure I
will encounter you again this year perhaps in another person, place or
situation. I hope that when that day comes, we can reconnect like old friends.
I will probably tell you how I noticed that “times have changed” and hope you
can end with, “so have you.”
