Sunday, March 20, 2016

Why Theater?

The recent writing challenge I accepted:


My take:


I can give you a hundred and one reasons why, but I will settle for only one—because theater is live. Take one; no buts or maybes; and all edits and ‘final cuts’ happen before the real or figurative curtain opens.

In our local entertainment scene where fans are widely engrossed in the hottest love teams, newest imported foreign dramas, and most anticipated Hollywood blockbusters—there is an art form that, unlike them, is raw in presentation but finely tuned in preparation.

If one sees a play on stage, he can form an opinion about the story, its characters, and other production elements as he sees them and before he leaves the theater. One doesn’t have the luxury of saying, “I don’t know how to feel about what I saw, I’ll probably just watch it again” or “I think tomorrow’s story would be better because the characters are likely to meet.”

Theater does not bargain for well-thought-out opinions. Like how it presents itself, it asks audiences to be true to their emotions as they feel it, wherever they are seated—to sing along to the chorus of “Basang-Basa sa Ulan,” from “Rak of Aegis” (PETA); to let tears flow for the suspended romance of the lead characters in “The Bridges of Madison County” (Atlantis Theatrical Entertainment Group/ATEG); to choose between the former lover and the new girlfriend fighting for one man in “Cock” (Red Turnip Theater); to be inspired by the nationalism of one of our (finest) political leaders in “Mabining Mandirigma” (Tanghalang Pilipino); and even to laugh and lust over the scantily clad performers in “50 Shades! The Musical Parody: Manila” (Vivre Fort Entertainment and 9 Works Theatrical). Theater asks audiences to indulge in their feelings with the house lights dimmed, popcorns totally unnecessary.

Not to undermine the contributions of cinema, television, and visual arts to the awakening of Filipino audiences, but theater has a strong, and most of the time liberated, interpretation of “what’s hot” (pop culture) and “what we forget,” “what we refuse to believe,” and “what we deny as a generation.” Think about the no-nonsense millennials who bannered the aptly titled “No Filter” (Sandbox Collective). It was well-received by members of the Gen X and Gen Y alike that it had to have a second run—as if we didn’t learn enough about this new breed’s personality from social media.

To say that going to the theater is a form of escape is not entirely wrong. We must, however, consider that it’s a more costly purchase than a cinema or gallery ticket or a free TV drama. When one goes to the theater and willingly pay for a price of PHP400 (at the cheapest), he’s looking for something he doesn’t usually see or hear in any other art form or mass media. He waives his entitlement to know any better, evidenced by his willingness to seat for an average of two hours and absorb all the talking, dancing, singing, crying, and moving in and around the stage.

And theater does not disappoint.

In theater, the ‘activist’ that you find annoying can talk to you closely and share why he grew up to be such a fearless, uncompromising man like Bart Guingona’s ‘Ned Weeks’ in “The Normal Heart” (Actor's Actors Inc./The Necessary Theater). The ‘lavish matriarch’ who denies her wealth’s depletion can take you back to her days in the province so you would reconsider your opinion about her, like what Cherrie Gil’s ‘Enriquetta Jardeleza-Sofronio’ accomplished in “Arbol de Fuego” (PETA).

When theater presents itself as a comedy, more often than not it is inspired by a dramatic reality. When the playbill tells you it’s a drama, you’ll find yourself laughing because of its fine resemblance to the world that we know actually exists. When it is a fantasy, don’t fool yourself—it’s grounded on real emotions just the same. And when they say that what you are watching is fiction—it’s only because you don’t know the real people that inspired the characters in it. Essentially, theater is not limited by labels. It may be considered as one genre only but you can see a hint of other genres if you look closely enough.

One may argue that the characters in theater move in one stage only—often rectangular—limiting the effects of the story to its audiences. Well, our world is finite and we move around it as far as we can, doing and discovering things as often as we can, as well. The real stage that we live in has its limits and as the actors of our own characters, there will be an inevitable moment when we take a bow and step back to let the curtains—real or imaginary—close.

That is life. Theater is life.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Fanboying

My love for reading has given me a number of rewards now.

I was able to meet some of my favorite writers and I had some of their books signed.


Social media has also enabled me to follow some of them online so I could be updated in their newest projects. It also enabled me to post the latest books that I read and tag their writers who have online presence. 


Fortunately, two of them have noticed my gratitude and they expressed their appreciation in return :)

Here is Dean Francis Alfar's book, "The Kite of Stars and Other Stories," as seen in my Instagram account:




Meanwhile, here is Arnel Patawaran's book, "Write Here, Write Now," also seen in my Instagram account.


Not only did he acknowledged my post--he reposted it on his @aapatawaran page! :)

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Another "Almost"

I just got back from MOWELFUND (Movie Workers Welfare Foundation) where I applied to be one of the fellows of CINE PANULAT 2016, the second edition of the free screenwriting laboratory founded and ran by acclaimed director and screenwriter Jun Lana.



I came in 15 minutes earlier than the call time. By 10 A.M., we were given a creative writing exercise which required us to write our biography in a maximum of five sentences and develop a scene with three people on the side of a bridge. 

Jun Lana made his message clear the moment he greeted us--only those who submitted an "okay" (meaning, good) write-up will be considered for the initial interview and those who did "good" will be endorsed to him for the final interview and selection.

About 80 applicants were shortlisted from a pool of--wait for it--410 submissions! 

Just before lunchtime, I took a risk and submitted my entry first. Direk Jun read it inside the small theater along with the other entries. I was filled with anxiety for more than two hours of waiting--Did I write good enough? Did he like it?

Fortunately I was called on for the initial interview with Direk Perci Intalan (Direk Jun's husband). I exerted every effort to be as honest as possible while talking to him (bordering on being an eager beaver, tbh) because I believe that as a writer, that should be a non-negotiable trait. 

But it wasn't enough. 

Not long after my interview, one of the volunteers thanked me and advised that they will just "contact me for any updates" which literally translates to "better luck next time."

Everything was alright, though. I knew the moment I sent my application that it was not going to be an easy ride. Direk was looking for amateur writers with writing background in movie, TV or theater, and I only had a single one-act play to show him. At least I tried and because of that, I can now sleep well.

The lesson I learned today: interviews and screening processes are all about perception. How? I can look at my situation in two ways: first, that I didn't make it to the Final 20; and second, that from 410 applicants, I made it to the shortlist then to the first round of interviews with about 50 remaining aspirants. I chose to be grateful and focus on the latter instead :)

Additionally because of the writing exercise, I will have a new blog entry :)

All is well. Opportunities are infinite but unfortunately this blog isn't, so...bye!

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Southeast Asia: Cambodia

Part 1 of my seven-day Southeast Asia backpacking tour featuring Siem Reap, and Phnom Penh, Cambodia



I spent several days travelling alone last year. Finally I was able to backpack in other countries--something that I've always wanted to do. 

I started with two cities in Cambodia and one in Vietnam from June 2-9 (a total of 7 days). 

Why these countries, you may ask. First, because they don't require Visa for Filipinos since we are neighbors (Southeast Asia represent!). Second, most of my friends have been there and they promised that the cost of living is cheap. Lastly, Buddhism is largely practiced in these parts of the world.

Here is my itinerary for those of you who also plan to go :)


SIEM REAP, CAMBODIA
(June 2-4; 8-9)

Mode of transportation: Two-hour plane ride from NAIA to Siem Reap International Airport.

Currency: US Dollar (USD) is widely accepted. You can also use Cambodian Riel (KHR) but it's more complicated to compute. I just used it to secure souvenir bills.

Other travelling tips to Cambodia can be found HERE and HERE.


June 2

Midnight: 
  • Airport arrival
  • Bought a local SIM with 1-mo. unlimited surfing data for only USD5.
  • Picked up at the airport by the Tuk Tuk driver of my customer intuitive hostel, the Siem Reap Hostel (highly recommended for backpackers, btw).

  • For late dinner, I had a traditional Khmer Fish Amok (presented inside a coconut shell) for USD6 at Triangle Restaurant Lounge Bar, where, coincidentally, the singers are Pinoys too. It's one of the countless restaurants and bars found along Pub Street, arguably Siem Reap's liveliest area for partying, dining, shopping, and night life.

June 3

Early morning until early afternoon



  • Woke up early for the Small Circuit Temple Tour for a standard rate of USD 15 (you may ask your hostel staff to book you one). We started off with Angkor Wat, the lovely religious temple built during the 12th century.
  • Unable to hide my excitement, I literally shouted when I approached it. For me, going to places is always better than reading about them in history books.
  • Note: Entrance fee to Angkor Wat is USD20. It's best to visit before sunrise so you can witness the magical color transformation of the sky from red-orange, orange, yellow, to shades of blue. It's a visual treat!


  • Next stop: Bayon Temple, located north of Angkor Wat, is best known for having multiple massive stone faces of bodhisattva Avalokitshvara. You can find locals dressed in traditional costumes who accommodate paid photo opportunities.

 
  • Third temple: Ta Phrom Temple, made more famous by the tress that grew out of the ruins and the jungle-like surroundings. Sadly, most of the mini temples were being renovated when we visited so we didn't see much.
  • Last stop: Bapun Temple, a quadrangular temple with steep staircases leading to the highest point where a seemingly open door stands.
  • For lunch, I had a Chicken Lok Lak for about USD8. It is a popular local dish which I favored over Amok since it's more visually appealing and flavorful (with meat, eggs, veggies, tasty sauce, and fried rice).
  • Fortunately, I met some of the most adventurous one-woman backpackers Eloise (from UK) and Nurul (from Malaysia) in Angkor Wat and we all happened to stay in the same hostel. We spent the entire trip together while sharing thoughts about our countries, travels, religions, and some personal matters. Truly an experience worth more than any passport stamp!
Afternoon
  • We took a break from the overwhelming temple tour and went back to our hostel to swim at the pool then take a nap :)
  • I met my new roommate, Orlaith (pronounced Orla) from Ireland, and I invited her to join us for our planned trip that evening.
Evening


  • To my overwhelming delight, we watched Phare, the Cambodian Circus for USD18 inside, no less than, a circus tent! The best thing about Phare is that it's circus with theater (acrobatics complete with acting, miming, and audience interaction). More than being a performing arts group, Phare is also a social enterprise that uplifts the lives of underprivileged youth by exposing them into artistic endeavors (which made me even happier!)
  • After the show, we had dinner at Pub Street. Eloise invited her classmate back in UK, James and his girlfriend Ester, to join us.
  • I had a Shrimp Pad Thai (yap, in Cambodia) for about USD6. It tasted authentic, to say the least.
Me, James, Nurul, Orlaith, Ester, and Eloise
Orlaith, Ester, and Eloise
  • After dinner, we had some drinks at a rooftop in one of Pub Street bars. We played an entertaining Yes-No asking game (3 rounds) where we identified the secret names on our foreheads featuring Personalities, Musicians, and Cartoon Characters as categories. Picture this, six strangers on one table with some cigarettes (for them) and lots of beers and alcohols (also for them; I just had one) having fun without prejudice! Now that's why I went solo backpacking in the first place: to be an anonymous personality amid a crowd whom I can learn from and be inspired of.
  • We head on our separate ways the following day. I woke up early to go to Phnom Penh; Nurul headed to another province in Cambodia; Eloise went to Lao PDR; while Orlaith, James, and Ester, continued their Siem Reap adventure.

PHNOM PENH, CAMBODIA

(June 4-6)

Mode of transportation: Bus. Sleeper buses are more expensive than public buses but preferable when you're seeking comfort and the assurance that more tourists are also on board. Six-hour ride along agricultural fields and underdeveloped highways (Siem Reap is a province after all, remember?)

Best time to travel: Early morning so you can arrive at Phnom Penh by early afternoon and still have a lot of time to stroll.


June 4

Morning until early afternoon
  • My breakfast consisted of bread-and-butter-and-jam; milk, and fruit slices available at our hostel for only USD2.

  • I took on a six-hour bus ride to Cambodia's capital, Phnom Penh. I only took a public bus which meant that there were more locals than tourists. Luckily, I sat beside Kamsan, a local who knows how to speak English and is a fan of Manny Pacquiao so I didn't have a hard time during the trip! He was also generous in accompanying me throughout all our bus stops. He even gave me a rice cake; their local version of our "suman."
  • I also met a Cambodian Theravada Buddhism student who was travelling with his 'best friend,' a Chinese Mahayana Buddhism student. I thought then that they were having an affair!
  • When I arrived in Phnom Penh, I hired a motorcycle driver to take me to Sundance Riverside Guest House. Unfortunately, he doesn't speak good English so we got lost for about 15 minutes locating my place. To keep it brief, I would say that my choice of Sundance was wrong because it is frequented by old Caucasian expats, hence, I didn't earn a new traveler friend :(
  • Because I got tired of that morning's travel, I just spent the afternoon lazying off in my bed and watching "That Awkward Moment" and the French Open on TV. 
Evening


  • I had dinner at Phnom Penh Night Market, their version of our Divisoria. Like the locals, I ate a Miche (fried noodles with leafy veggie in beef sauce) while sitting on a mat. I engaged with two school teachers who were genuinely nice! They even gave me a star keychain as a souvenir :)

June 5

Morning until afternoon




  • I visited the infamous Cheoung Ek Genocidal Center (Killing Fields) and learned a lot about Cambodia's genocide history from '75-'79. It was a sad and depressing experience (imagine, Cambodians killing Cambodians). The multilingual audio tour was a great idea though (if the intention was to scare tourists more than educate them of what really happened in various areas of the Fields). I also saw the Killing Tree where executioners beat children to death :(
  • Next stop: Toul Seng Genocide Museum (S21). The torture rooms and equipment, prison cells, and victims' photos did little to ease my sadness. Besides being more haunting than the Killing Fields, it is an indispensable part of any Phnom Penh tour.
  • I canvassed for souvenirs at Phnom Penh Central Market but only managed to buy ref magnets because 1) I was concerned with my budget since I was just in the middle of the trip and 2) some vendors were impatient.
  • Before heading back to Sundance, I strolled around Royal Palacethe official residence of the Royal Family. It was closed during that time so I wasn't able to see the Silver Pagoda. I had to be contented with the facade. Interesting enough, the park in front of the Palace is open to the public. It's like bringing Luneta Park in front of Malacanang Palace! You can sum up an ordinary Phnom Penh weekend by spending some time in the park: families having picnik, children running, monks walking, tourists taking pictures, and vendors occupying sidewalks. All of these happen with the river at the background, amid an endless cycle of sunrise and sunset, and regular passing of cruise boats.
  • My Tuk Tuk driver (who was not that good in English) and I had a misunderstanding regarding the tour fee. He thought that his lunch (which I paid for) was excluded from the fee, although I made the opposite clear before we ate. We just met halfway. If I remember correctly, I paid him about USD18.
Evening


  • I found a local bookstore near the Royale Palace that sells cheap locally printed books (i.e. Haruki Murakami novels for about PHP200 only). It broke my heart to leave the store without any purchase because my bag is already filled with a couple of books :(
  • I was craving for company on my last evening in Phnom Penh so I contacted the two Buddhism students who I met on the bus earlier. We met at a park between their amusement center and resort-casino area. I walked for about twenty minutes, thinking that the area was just near my place!
  • Fact: Maps, while generally helpful to get you from point A to point B, are not always transparent with the actual distance of getting there.
  • For dinner, I had ordinary noodles for USD1.5 while literally sitting on the sidewalk! When the two Buddhism students found out about my dinner, they ordered for them too. The Theravata student had a vow of fasting after 11 A.M. so he insisted that his friend eat his part. It was crazy seeing him fighting his desire to eat and it was confusing to see them argue (L.Q.?). I was like an uninvited guest, tbh.
  • The same student gave me a plastic bag filled with huge plates of dried mangoes. It didn't taste as good as our Cebu dried mangoes but I thought that was generous of him. I gave the bag to a (seemingly) homeless man.

June 6

Morning



  • While having breakfast downstairs, I saw a group of monks who were doing their daily routine of collecting alms (or donations) from locals. I hurried to my room, grabbed my camera, and got near them to get a good shot. I've been waiting to personally witness such sense of altruism that is only found in Buddhism.
  • Before I left for Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam, I accidentally destroyed the door knob of my restroom. I didn't notify the owner because I was afraid he would charge me for it. Haha!

(AFTER HO CHI MINH, VIETNAM) BACK TO SIEM REAP, CAMBODIA

June 8

Evening
  • I was picked up at the bus station by the Tuk Tuk driver of Siem Reap Hostel (an awesome customer service offered by not all hostels, btw).
  • I survived an exhausting 13-hour public bus ride from Ho Chi Minh to Phnom Penh, and then back to Siem Reap. Had I taken a private bus, that trip would have been shorter.

June 9

Morning
  • Last day of my tour. I woke up early to buy souvenirs for my family among the few opened stores at Siem Reap Old Market. I spent more than USD50! 
  • Tip: You have to bargain when buying souvenirs. To win one, pretend that you're uninterested with the product because the price is high and you can only pay for a certain amount.Take a few steps out of the store, and 90% of the time, they will call you back and settle for your price :)
Afternoon
  • I fixed my stuff and prepared for departure. Good thing that The Siem Reap Hostel let me stay within the building despite checking out early. While waiting for the proper time to travel to the airport, I watched "Fight Club" and a local documentary in the movie room for free. 
The free pick-up service and movie room are just two of the great customer services that one can get from Siem Reap Hostel. They also offer a food crawl, reception area with local tour and inter-city/cross-country packages, bar, buffet breakfast, swimming pool, billiard table, book swap shelf, and yoga and spa sessions at reasonable prices.

It's true what people say about Cambodia - that it is affordable and has an interesting history. Cambodians are generally warm to tourists although vendors have the tendency to be irrationally aggressive.

For me, Siem Reap is a better destination because it gives you the beauty of Cambodia's ancient temples that have stood the test of time (even archaeologists wonder how they were built that strong). Also, more people there can speak and understand English. 

Phnom Pehn, despite being the capital, lacks modernity. Some say that the only thing that matters there is the country's genocide history, and I totally agree. I would say though that it should be a non-negotiable place to visit so tourists can truly understand how Cambodia came to be the county that we now know--beyond the corners of Angkor Wat alone.

That's it! Thanks for reading and let me know what you think of my Cambodian adventure.

Friday, February 26, 2016

Introspection

It's hard to write when you don't know what to write about. You wanna finish another (or your first) masterpiece but you can't even write a sentence. Maybe you can but you don't what is it about. Maybe you do but you have no clue how to continue.

All you wanted is to be good. When you have one or two good stories, you wanna be better. You want to reach that line that promises greatness and welcomes fearlessness. You know you want to write but then you don't know what is it about. 

This consuming passion to write, to share stories, to be a narrator, a comic, a dramatist, a romantic, a priest, a nun--a person who others pay attention to not because you seek attention, only because you have something to share.



What do you want to be? A playwright? A novelist? A poet? An essayist? Do you want an extensive work of literature or do you want to save up space and time? You don't know which path you wanna take. No business, no bullshit--you want to pursue your love for writing, literature, and the arts.

Hard to find inspiration, right? What about your successes? Your failures? Your wicked ways? Your wild dreams? First sex? With whom? First love? Who? World Peace? No, it's probably corny. You? Too egotistical.

Ricky Lee said as a writer, you don't wait for the moment, you make that moment.

Write as if it's the last day.
Write because you want to.
Write because you must.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

#WayBackWednesday

I was going through my now defunct Tumblr account and I saw a photo of my first (and last) clay sculpture - a Dragon (or Bird).



It was a product of one of those moments when I had ample time and extra supply of clay from a previous school project. I know it's not much but let me know what you think!

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Personalizing 2016

Did you notice that our local bookstores have seemingly forgotten what they should sell more of?

It used to be that when you enter one, you will be greeted with books only -- bestsellers printed in hardbound, mass paperback, and trade paperback. Nowadays, it's not primarily books that entice you to stroll inside a bookshop but other countless paper products and their 'accessories.'

I'm referring to endless rows of customized notebooks, planners, personal/work memo pads, and coloring books -- the last clearly suffering from mainstream fatigue (read: something nice, cute and interesting when only few people do/know about it). Additionally, there are sketch/drawing pads and packs of color pencils, watercolors, fine liners, and other amateur and professional coloring materials easily found near or around the counters.

Take a look at these:
Notebooks and notepads for every mood (or the lack of it)
'Fake it 'til you make it' checklists for work and school
Busy? Not an excuse not to try these custom-design coloring pads

50 Shades of 'Kaartehan' with these coloring/drawing/sketching materials
There's surely no harm in planning 2016 with your favorite cartoon/fictional character as a companion

While they may serve well for bookshops to entice more customers, they can also serve as distractions to bookworms who go to bookstores for its namesake -- books.

Perhaps bookshop owners think, "Let's entice young consumers with something cute, colorful, and reflective of their personality from the windows and entrance of our store. Maybe once they're in, they will realize that they also need a book for academic or leisurely purposes."

Meanwhile, it dawned on me that labeling one's self has truly evolved as a need these days. It's not just enough that you show people your identity and personality through your choice of clothing and mannerisms (that people usually judge you by) but also for the things that just stay inside your bag and through thoughts that remain mostly inside your head.

Nowadays, we have coloring book for adults (who have no time and have probably forgotten how it feels to be children again); customized notebooks and pads for one's moods, observations, positive reinforcement, and scribbles; and planners for travelers, cartoon addicts, posh college students, and the free-spirited, just to name a few. 

I'm not saying that patronizing these products are bad. I just hope I can see more books in bookshops and more of the ones above inside specialty stores. 

While these products bring the "never thought I needed you 'til I saw you" moment, they steal the show from books which are the real time-tested instruments for searching, defining, and reinforcing one's self.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

It Was Nice Knowing You

NOTE: This essay was published in Philippine Daily Inquirer's "Young Blood" column in January 21, 2016. You may see the article on this LINK.

Bidding 2015 farewell...

My 2015 #bestnine photos according to Instagram
Your presence was marked with pleasant surprises, unexpected visitors, failed attempts, and difficult experiences.

You made yourself clear right from the start: you entered my life to fill it with so much passion and adventure.

You were the essay that voiced out its disappointment about the short-lived visit of Pope Francis in Leyte. You knew that you were not pleasing but you insisted. Your honesty was antagonized by readers who told you to just be grateful, at the least.

You were the amateur one-act plays submitted to a local theater festival. You delivered my Easter Sunday surprise when you accepted my play “The Wedding Planners” in the stage reading category of Virgin Labfest 11. You allowed me to work with theater artists that I admire and you introduced us on my 24th birthday. Clearly, you could not have chosen a better timing!

You frequently caused traffic jams to inspire me with additional scenes and dialogues to satisfy my director’s request for more depth to the characters. You were the joke that I added a few hours before the show and I thank God because the audience laughed out loud at you.

You were my loyal travel buddy when I went backpacking in four Southeast Asian countries. You proved that indeed one knows thyself, and others, from travelling alone.

You were the extremely hot Cambodia, affordable and busy Vietnam, culturally intact Thailand, and laid-back Malaysia.

You walked with me through Siem Reap, and Phnom Penh, Cambodia as the atheist British student who believed that your parents’ divorce was the best thing that happened to your family. You were the female Malaysian Muslim who told your parents you were just staying at a friend’s house, not backpacking abroad, to secure their permission. You were the New York banker who resigned from your job and travelled around Southeast Asia for months. You were the Theravada Buddhism student who travelled with your best friend from China who studies Mahayana Buddhism. I did not tell you this but I think you two were having an affair because of your intimacy and by the looks of your smartphone theme (pink and flowery).

You were the Taiwanese businessman who gave me a drink as we waited for the rain to stop in the busy tourist district of Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. It made me sad to know that your girlfriend left you because she cannot help you take care of your sick mother. I sincerely wish you happiness and good luck. You were also the tour operator who I kissed under the influence of alcohol, with no regrets. Putting aside my emotions, that move guaranteed me cheaper tour fees and higher exchange rates. Rest assured that I admired your sweetness and care.

You accommodated my short trip in Bangkok, Thailand as the tour guide who aggressively sold us tamarind. You left me and my colleagues divided with regard to your gender identity. Let me tell you that you were not the only one who confused us during our stay. You were also the Red Light District performers who inserted and pulled out every (un)imaginable prop to your genitals. You were nonetheless entertaining.

You patiently stayed with me in a weeklong retreat in Sabah, Malaysia. You were the British engineer who thought that everyone cares about the Royal Family in England except its own people. You also pitied Queen Elizabeth for “not having a normal, casual conversation throughout her reign so she must have been bored for more than 60 years now.” You were the Muslim engineer who will get married in May to your high school girlfriend because your parents are pressuring you. I hope that unlike what you think, your fiancée will allow you to travel alone.
 
You were the Filipina raised as a Catholic but converted to Islam because you saw the inherent beauty of the religion. You were also the undocumented Filipina Muslim whose life is confined between selling merchandise in the City Mosque and staying inside your safe house. I seek Allah’s guidance to give you wisdom in creating a new life in Sabah, given that you are eager to marry a local. I hope that things get better from there.

You also taught me valuable lessons by not taking the human form. You were the strong rain that made descending Mt. Ayaas’ dangerous. You inspired me to see beauty through countless art works and forms within eight local and foreign museums. You allowed me to surprise myself, my classmates and mentor during my writing boot camp with Jessica Zafra. You convinced me that if I were to have my first formal training in writing, it had better be under her. You reminded me that my talent needs constant practice and if I want to be an effective writer, I need to write more, observe often, and speak less.

While you gave me a lot reasons to be thankful for, you were also a pain in the ass in some occasions. You were the all-knowing client that I wish I never met; the boring account that I wish was more open to risks; the bus driver who injured my wrist when you suddenly closed the door as I stepped inside; and the unexplainable occasional pain in my stomach and chest.

You were the fear that crippled me from submitting entries to two writing competitions because you told me I lack the experience and drive. You were the work tasks that I cowardly executed because you demanded a lot. You were the recurring anxiety that caused me to eat late, sleep for few hours, and exercise less.

You were countless of Facebook ‘friends’ that I deleted because you were negative, cynical, or plainly unfamiliar.

You were the person I regretted calling because you were no longer interested to talk to me. After some time I redeemed myself and seen-zoned you on Messenger because I already lost my interest too.

Looking back, I just want to focus on the bright side of knowing you.

You fuelled my imagination, creativity and passion through 47 movies and 11 full-length theater plays that I watched, and 15 books and three screenplays that I read. You also gave me much pleasure from drawing portraits.

You were the countless punch lines that made me laugh out loud while hanging out with my high school and college friends and officemates.

Being with you gave me a lot of ups and downs. I’m sure I will encounter you again this year perhaps in another person, place or situation. I hope that when that day comes, we can reconnect like old friends. I will probably tell you how I noticed that “times have changed” and hope you can end with, “so have you.” 

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