Papa don’t preach (I’ve been losing sleep)

Note to readers: This article was published in Philippine Daily Inquirer's Young Blood column in September 2, 2014. You can read the edited version on this link: http://opinion.inquirer.net/78073/papa-dont-preach

I believe in God. I attend mass every week, I serve in our charismatic community and I believe Someone higher is responsible for my ups and I, for my downs.

***

Imagine you are inside a jeepney and you see an acquaintance about to board the same ride. Instantly you say “shit!,” a word manifesting both horror and crisis. You pretend to sleep but deep inside you start to pray “Lord, please no. Don’t let us be on the same ride, at least not today.”

Does this situation sound familiar to you? Me, yes. I did exactly the same thing last Thursday morning...because the last time I didn’t, I suffered.

***

My previous week was like hell, not because of my workload but due to lack of adequate rest. It was only on a Tuesday when I had a good sleep and felt excited to work on Wednesday. Then my day’s little surprise appeared in a man – a friend of a friend, looking mid-30s and by all means, just another person I know prima face who happens to be working in Makati as well.

I thought it would be an ordinary day off to work but I was wrong. While we were bound for Buendia via FX, he asked me what my religion is and where do I go to church. I told him I attend the Feast PICC under the leadership of Bro. Bo Sanchez. He said he knows the congregation and he attends the one adjacent to us, Day by Day Christian Church by Pastor Ed Lapiz, held at the Folk Arts Theater. It was a pleasant surprise so I managed a little smile and continued staring in the distance, thinking of what the day holds for me at work and back at home.

I was never keen on knowing more about this man not because he is uninteresting or I am judgmental, but because people just don’t do that in the morning. (Honestly though, he seemed a little uninteresting and I am partly judgmental). Commuters belonging to the workforce are never cheerful in the morning. Show me one and I bet it’s his first day at work – we’ll monitor this person days after.

Without asking my permission, this man started introducing me to his church; what they do and what they advocate for. He earned a portion of my elusive attention when he said he has been to The Feast PICC a couple of times and he knows Bro. Bo. He then recalled how he came to know God back in high school and how he cried when he found out the true meaning of accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Savior. He also reminded me that no matter how hard we try, we can never be perfectly deserving of His love, hence we are awarded with grace. He even recalled how Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit despite God’s command and what it meant when He punished these two for their disobedience.

He lost me with his high school salvation story. I didn’t respond to his biblical bullet points. When I sensed he will not stop anytime soon, I only gave nods without looking at him in the eyes. When I talk to a person without looking point blank, there are serious problems with the conversation.

I thought he would sense my indifference to the topic. “Not on a Wednesday morning, please,” I kept telling myself. I was holding my patience and fervently hoping he saw my distorted, inattentive face, but all I had was hope. What good is that to stop a man from recounting his 20-year ‘I am changed’ story?

He sat beside me in our next ride bound for Pasong Tamo ‘para daw magkarinigan kami’ (so we can hear each other). Goodness! This man didn’t realize there was no conversation happening, only a preaching session! A one-way communication (if you can call it communication at all!)

He also shared how as humans we should repent on our sins in preparation for the second coming of Christ. Yes, he told me that we were already in the Book of Revelations as we were lining up for our last jeepney ride bound for Ayala Avenue. At 23, I admit I don’t read the Bible yet, but I am very (very, very) aware that the Revelations is the last book in it, and a very lengthy sharing such as his can be overwhelming (I’d like to use and abuse the word ‘very’ in this paragraph but I know you already get my point). 

He said there will come a time when believers of God will be saved (and disappear) from this world while the non-believers will be put to a test so they can also be saved, and if they resist, they will suffer worse. He also mentioned our departed beloved rising up and going somewhere (I don’t know how to continue the story; I was busy switching glances at the stressed passersby and the congested Makati corners).  

Meanwhile, I found the next part of the conversation interesting enough so I looked at him for a millisecond: he said there will be a golden city (2,000 km x 2,000 km) where believers will go to – a place where only peace and happiness reign. He even asked me to search it on YouTube – I forgot the term the moment he requested I look it up on the net. I think it’s called the Golden City – please look it up for me.

He even sent me a recording of Pastor Ed’s preaching. Pakinggan ko raw para ma-inspire ako at ma-inform. (I should listen to it to be inspired and be informed). Oh dear, this man and what he’s asking me to do is unbelievable! Before we part he requested me to also share my faith – the good word – with other people. We all know where this is going: I nodded while thinking, “No way! I will never force someone to listen to me unless he expresses interest on the topic, most especially if it’s about faith and religion.” 

I felt sorry for this man because he was genuinely enjoying what he was doing. I can tell he is a good son of God, a proud one even, for preaching for more than an hour. However I was not prepared for his word or His words that morning. If I want to listen to God’s word on a particular moment, I’d play my Bo Sanchez recordings and silently pray after. But I didn’t that morning. I don’t on most mornings.

His non-stop spiritual monologue was more than what my restless, sensitive mind and body can process. At one point I felt guilty for not cutting him short while we were still in the FX, thus preventing him to be the subject of my next blog. But can you blame me for giving him the benefit of the doubt? I thought that at his age and experience, he would know when people are listening and when they are not. I am a regular church goer and I strongly believe Someone higher is in control of my life. But reiterating that without my consent is way too insensitive. It’s sad he didn’t realize what he was doing was actually unattractive. If unsolicited preaching can turn the faithful ones off, imagine what negative impression it will cause to nonbelievers, atheists, naturalists, existentialists, or however you call those who don’t entertain the presence of the Divine?  

His intention was good but the execution was worse, and he was not aware of it.

I admire that he remains proud of his beliefs. However I strongly believe that sharing faith becomes successful when two people, the sharer and the listener, cooperate. After all, what good is there in storytelling if the narrator doesn’t have an audience? And what’s the use of the Good Word if you set your audience in a bad mood?

And my morning’s remembrance - one of my most awkward epiphanies yet: while he was introducing God to me, I was also calling on the same God to make him stop.