Papa don’t preach (I’ve been losing sleep)

Note to readers: This article was published in Philippine Daily Inquirer's Young Blood column in September 2, 2014. You can read the edited version on this link: http://opinion.inquirer.net/78073/papa-dont-preach

I believe in God. I attend mass every week, I serve in our charismatic community and I believe Someone higher is responsible for my ups and I, for my downs.

***

Imagine you are inside a jeepney and you see an acquaintance about to board the same ride. Instantly you say “shit!,” a word manifesting both horror and crisis. You pretend to sleep but deep inside you start to pray “Lord, please no. Don’t let us be on the same ride, at least not today.”

Does this situation sound familiar to you? Me, yes. I did exactly the same thing last Thursday morning...because the last time I didn’t, I suffered.

***

My previous week was like hell, not because of my workload but due to lack of adequate rest. It was only on a Tuesday when I had a good sleep and felt excited to work on Wednesday. Then my day’s little surprise appeared in a man – a friend of a friend, looking mid-30s and by all means, just another person I know prima face who happens to be working in Makati as well.

I thought it would be an ordinary day off to work but I was wrong. While we were bound for Buendia via FX, he asked me what my religion is and where do I go to church. I told him I attend the Feast PICC under the leadership of Bro. Bo Sanchez. He said he knows the congregation and he attends the one adjacent to us, Day by Day Christian Church by Pastor Ed Lapiz, held at the Folk Arts Theater. It was a pleasant surprise so I managed a little smile and continued staring in the distance, thinking of what the day holds for me at work and back at home.

I was never keen on knowing more about this man not because he is uninteresting or I am judgmental, but because people just don’t do that in the morning. (Honestly though, he seemed a little uninteresting and I am partly judgmental). Commuters belonging to the workforce are never cheerful in the morning. Show me one and I bet it’s his first day at work – we’ll monitor this person days after.

Without asking my permission, this man started introducing me to his church; what they do and what they advocate for. He earned a portion of my elusive attention when he said he has been to The Feast PICC a couple of times and he knows Bro. Bo. He then recalled how he came to know God back in high school and how he cried when he found out the true meaning of accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Savior. He also reminded me that no matter how hard we try, we can never be perfectly deserving of His love, hence we are awarded with grace. He even recalled how Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit despite God’s command and what it meant when He punished these two for their disobedience.

He lost me with his high school salvation story. I didn’t respond to his biblical bullet points. When I sensed he will not stop anytime soon, I only gave nods without looking at him in the eyes. When I talk to a person without looking point blank, there are serious problems with the conversation.

I thought he would sense my indifference to the topic. “Not on a Wednesday morning, please,” I kept telling myself. I was holding my patience and fervently hoping he saw my distorted, inattentive face, but all I had was hope. What good is that to stop a man from recounting his 20-year ‘I am changed’ story?

He sat beside me in our next ride bound for Pasong Tamo ‘para daw magkarinigan kami’ (so we can hear each other). Goodness! This man didn’t realize there was no conversation happening, only a preaching session! A one-way communication (if you can call it communication at all!)

He also shared how as humans we should repent on our sins in preparation for the second coming of Christ. Yes, he told me that we were already in the Book of Revelations as we were lining up for our last jeepney ride bound for Ayala Avenue. At 23, I admit I don’t read the Bible yet, but I am very (very, very) aware that the Revelations is the last book in it, and a very lengthy sharing such as his can be overwhelming (I’d like to use and abuse the word ‘very’ in this paragraph but I know you already get my point). 

He said there will come a time when believers of God will be saved (and disappear) from this world while the non-believers will be put to a test so they can also be saved, and if they resist, they will suffer worse. He also mentioned our departed beloved rising up and going somewhere (I don’t know how to continue the story; I was busy switching glances at the stressed passersby and the congested Makati corners).  

Meanwhile, I found the next part of the conversation interesting enough so I looked at him for a millisecond: he said there will be a golden city (2,000 km x 2,000 km) where believers will go to – a place where only peace and happiness reign. He even asked me to search it on YouTube – I forgot the term the moment he requested I look it up on the net. I think it’s called the Golden City – please look it up for me.

He even sent me a recording of Pastor Ed’s preaching. Pakinggan ko raw para ma-inspire ako at ma-inform. (I should listen to it to be inspired and be informed). Oh dear, this man and what he’s asking me to do is unbelievable! Before we part he requested me to also share my faith – the good word – with other people. We all know where this is going: I nodded while thinking, “No way! I will never force someone to listen to me unless he expresses interest on the topic, most especially if it’s about faith and religion.” 

I felt sorry for this man because he was genuinely enjoying what he was doing. I can tell he is a good son of God, a proud one even, for preaching for more than an hour. However I was not prepared for his word or His words that morning. If I want to listen to God’s word on a particular moment, I’d play my Bo Sanchez recordings and silently pray after. But I didn’t that morning. I don’t on most mornings.

His non-stop spiritual monologue was more than what my restless, sensitive mind and body can process. At one point I felt guilty for not cutting him short while we were still in the FX, thus preventing him to be the subject of my next blog. But can you blame me for giving him the benefit of the doubt? I thought that at his age and experience, he would know when people are listening and when they are not. I am a regular church goer and I strongly believe Someone higher is in control of my life. But reiterating that without my consent is way too insensitive. It’s sad he didn’t realize what he was doing was actually unattractive. If unsolicited preaching can turn the faithful ones off, imagine what negative impression it will cause to nonbelievers, atheists, naturalists, existentialists, or however you call those who don’t entertain the presence of the Divine?  

His intention was good but the execution was worse, and he was not aware of it.

I admire that he remains proud of his beliefs. However I strongly believe that sharing faith becomes successful when two people, the sharer and the listener, cooperate. After all, what good is there in storytelling if the narrator doesn’t have an audience? And what’s the use of the Good Word if you set your audience in a bad mood?

And my morning’s remembrance - one of my most awkward epiphanies yet: while he was introducing God to me, I was also calling on the same God to make him stop.

ABANGAN: The Best Philippine Komiks 2014

I read this book for two reasons: I support creators of stories written in short form – artists who commit to direct storytelling without sacrificing content and emotion; and I always wish I can live through the days when kids hold Komiks and not tablets.

It is for these reasons that I had the newest Komiks book in town, ABANGAN: The Best Philippine Komiks 2014. It is a worthy collection of the best* Filipino modern Komiks as adjudged by four experienced Komiks editors.

* I cannot justify why they are the best in the country because I haven’t read all Komiks in circulation. Also, I’m sure there are a lot of other artists whose works remain in notebooks because they lack the opportunity and connections. To support my claim, even the editors noted that “almost all of the Komikeros included are from Metro Manila, and that majority of them are hetero-normative males.”

Going straight to the point, I wish to extend my praises to the standouts in this collection:

The Populars. The inclusion of Budjette Tan and Kajo Balidismo’s TRESE: THIRTEEN STATIONS in this collection is not a surprise for me. The story shares how Alexandra Trese chased a clan of Aswang (ghosts) that is responsible for a series of murder which happened in various MRT stations. The creators mixed Filipino mythology (Aswang, and goddess of death – their version of “Kamatayan”) with socio-political narrative – a combination I’m sure would appeal to readers who are either looking for mere entertainment or a good case study in literature/sociology courses. This story will never go outdated because of its formula and I also won’t forget it because it’s the same story included in the short-story collection “Manila Noir.”

(To Tan and Balidismo, I hope you’d be kind enough to share a different excerpt in another collection next time. Thanks!)

Meanwhile, Paolo Fabregas’ FILIPINO HEROES LEAGUE VOLUME 2 is another pleasant treat. Fabregas successfully modernized the retelling of Martial Law for younger readers who probably don’t have any idea why they don’t have classes a day in February and August each year. He also represented the masang Pilipino through fictional superheroes as they save the country from authoritarianism. If Fabregas continues doing this amid all the political events that change Philippine bureaucracy, I’m sure he won’t run out of stories to tell and Komiks to publish. Good for you, man! Please continue killing the Barong Lords and making heroes out of commoners.

Legitimately Good Reads. One of the main challenges Komiks face is relevance for the digital, younger readers. (In local context, hirap silang lumaban sa mga katulad ng “Diary ng Panget,” “She’s Dating the Gangster,” and a whole shelf of PSICOM young adult novels from Wattpad).

Having said that, my favorite in the collection is Russell Molina and Ian Sta. Maria’s SIXTY-SIX. Here’s why: As the title suggests, the Komiks features a 66 year old man who takes care of his wife who is suffering from dementia (or amnesia), and communicates with his unica hija who is working abroad. Later on it was revealed that the man is actually living alone and still has issues with her partner’s accidental death. Molina and Sta. Maria didn’t seem to be bothered by the problem I just mentioned above. They just approached storytelling anew using old characters in an old medium which for me is genuinely brave and artistic.

In addition, Emiliana Kampilan’s DEAD BALAGTAS seems like the funnier version of Lourd de Veyra’s “History” on TV 5. Kampilan bastardizes our history and heroes in each of her strips. For Kampilan, the Japanese army killed Doraemon and Nobita when they travelled back to the Philippines in 1942, Jose Rizal replaced Doña Teodoro’s eyes with electrocuting goggles, and the US government failed to bribe Melchora Aquino with a McDonald’s happy meal. I don’t care if these are not true; I just support Kampilan’s fearless versions of our history and I wish my history teachers entertained me that much as well.

Meanwhile, Carlorozy’ DARWIN’S ASSOCIATION OF DELICIOUS EVILNESS brings us inside a child’s mind as he struggles to play his role as a student and his aspiration to be a superhero. Add to the complexity of his story is an everyday encounter with school bullies and his attempt to being badass like them. Darwin is hero and villain combined; his mind is violent, complex, and miserable but his evilness effortlessly solicits frequent laughs-out-loud.

Short, Sweet Selections. Noel Pascual and AJ Bernardo’s CRIME FIGHTING CALL CENTER AGENTS contains few dialogues but highly entertains as well. Just try to imagine what a simple handshake means when a former call center agent passes through his teammates and they introduce him to their new supervisor – akward! Egos reach the universe as the characters stare at each other while gripping the other’s hand. Truly an epic meet up!

Meanwhile, JB Palabon’s PUSO NEGRO is also one of the funniest selections in ABANGAN as it shares how one tactless man can endanger innocent civilians. In three pages, Palabon invites readers to sit in the middle of his jeepney and watch as the passengers experience crazy turn of events. Palabon’s story will surely capture a lot of Pinoy readers especially those who has, in one way or another, had an unpleasant jeepney ride.

Rob Cham and Petra Magno’s SPOOKY TALES OF THE HERE AND NOW presents the problems of millennials who are heavily reliant on social media. I thank Cham and Magno for visualizing some of my pet peeves online. On another hand, While Rob Cham and Auti Nones didn’t create the strips in COMICS, they did a fine job of selecting the funnier sounding punch lines in stories from Garfield, Archie, Casey, Kelvin and Snobbes, and Fancy.

Reading ABANGAN is a pleasant break from my usual novel-memoir-essays book selection. I enjoyed the experience of reading a book made of Komiks by Filipino writers who are not yet in the mainstream scene (except for Manix Abrera and the makers of the first two I mentioned above). I will continue to support them and I hope I can be exposed to more local Komiks in the future.

Just to mention, my father, an artist by his own credentials, would always light up when sharing his childhood stories spent with Komiks. He used to trade Komiks with his friends, and they also read them together in the UTMT (under the mango tree). I know that Komiks has influenced my father’s artistry and for that alone, I think I owe this medium some sense of gratitude. I know that I have to pick it up from the shelf and let strangers know that Komiks still exist.

Komiks are the “memes“ of the past, only a lot entertaining, socially relevant, and sensibly humorous.

That’s it for now. Thank you for reading. In the meantime, I have to turn my attention to the next books on my reading list and as the title goes – aABANGAN ko nalang ang 2015 collection.

If There's a Will, There's a Wave

When 2014 opened, I promised myself that it will be a year of travel, exploration and discovery - or revisiting old people, places and experiences. 

Summer is fast-approaching and with that, I thought I needed to try a new water sports. Surfing came as an instant solution as some of my EON mates are also into the activity. Without hesitation, I joined an intimate trip to Baler, Aurora, which is currently making louder waves as a go-to surfing destination in the country.

One day stay. Three one-hour surfing sessions. Five people. Plenty of instructors, fall and lessons. 

Here are some of my learnings while battling with the tides of Baler:

That Awesome Moment When You Can See and Hear the Waves on Your Feet 

Paddle Out: Always keep moving forward. Never cease to go further whether the waves are calm or disruptive . Stretch those arms and paddle out left and right. My surfing instructor would consistently coach from behind, "paddle lang kuya, paddle ka..." especially during high tides and it was really effective. Instead of panicking, facing the waves through paddling prevented me from damage -- I was not slapped hard nor wiped out. 

Choose the Right Waves: Not all waves can help you learn surfing. Ironically, the bigger and harder-hitting waves are the ones that will train you to be strong, fearless, and determined to complete one long ride. And when you ride the right wave and reach the shore, you just want to face bigger waves even more!

Not All Waves are Scary: True enough. There were a number of times I felt as if I was in a deep part of the sea but when I paddled, I was able to touch the sea floor. It may seem funny but when your stomach is full from a buffet lunch and you only had ten minutes of nap, little waves can really come across as frightening.

Never Let Go of Your Board: For non-swimmers like me, the best and only advice to remember is that no matter what happens, never let go of your board. That foam or fiber is your best friend above and below sea level. It is the medium that brings you to a faraway place and gets you back to where you came from. Your surfboard gives you a magic carpet ride, but it involves a lot of skinny-dipping, humping, and positioning (and I am talking only to people who rode a surfboard before).

Instructors are Inevitable: Have you ever known someone who has inspired you despite their age, status, gender, race, etc.? Well, I found one brave young man in Baler who at the age of 14, was my source of confidence in the sea. Yes, my instructor was way younger than I am, yet he paddled when
my arms were weak, he pushed my board so I can stand and ride even if he was swallowed by the angry tides, and he was always on red alert when I am acting like a child. Shanlee is a very inspiring man. He, alongside other surf instructors in Freedom Surf School, were among the bravest, happiest, and kindest groups of young men I met. 

If not for instructors like the Freedom Boys, people in the Metro who may have the money but are not stress-free, can never have enjoyed such an exciting water activity.

Pain is part of the Game: I am currently recovering from bruises and cuts in my legs, coupled with over-worked arms and chest. Surprisingly, I never thought of quitting surfing. I like what it does to my body and I know that pain is all part of the learning process. And as consolation, I just take these as reminders that I once did something new and felt really good about it.

Stand Up... Just Stand Up: Fall numerous times if you cannot help it, but the golden rule of surfing is to stand up - just stand up. By standing on the surfboard, one can learn how a ride can take away so much worry and anxiety. Again, there may be more times when you will fall, but as long as you stand up -- knees shaking, arms and chest hurting -- no ride will ever go wasted.

A Long Training Fuels a Long Ride: I had three one-hour sessions within my 24-hour stay in Baler. My first session in surfing was the most memorable because of the surprise and satisfaction that my first complete ride gave me. I have to tell you though that it was during low-tide. During my second try, the tide was crazily high and the sea seemed like a giant washing machine, bleaching everything that comes inside it including people. And because of inadequate exercise and rest, I was also dissatisfied with my third and farewell session. 

Looking back on the rides I could have completed and from observing the surfers who braved the tides alone, I realized that surfing is not an overnight success story. To efficiently ride a wave is like spending years in the seminary, sleepless nights drawing blueprints and sketches, and training to write or draw from childhood -- it requires repetition, discipline, commitment and a goal.

It's Okay to Fall, Just Don't Drown: In surfing, every fall is equivalent to a brave attempt. People may overlook it, but sometimes effort weighs heavier than results. It's okay to fall. After all, you're stepping on water, not on concrete. However, it is equally important to fight every fall and don't drown yourself with fear of falling again. Enjoy the moment. Feel the water. Cooperate with nature. Cliche as it may sounds, but take every ride as if it's your last.

That Leash that Binds You and Your Board, Creates Wonders: As long as I can remember, I was never unafraid of water. I was always on the safe side of the pool, the usual walker in the sea. And like children, I am conscious of what's beneath my feet in the brownish sea floor. But while surfing I learned to trust the medium that will keep me safe and floating - the leash. It prevented me from a number of drowning incidents especially during the high-tide session (when I can't touch the seabed) and it was my top-of-mind every time I fall. To reiterate, the leash that binds me and my board is responsible for so much happiness and carelessness I felt while surfing.

After a Long Day of Surfing, Don't Forget to Play Carelessly with the Sea: Few minutes after our third session, I realized that I have not yet plunged into the sea for the longest time. So before I leave Baler, I thought that I should experience it bare - this time thinking only about me, the water, and how grateful I am to experience such pleasure. I could have avoided this tanned face, neck and shoulders had I not swam after surfing, but who cares? It was the best exfoliation my body has undergone in years. And boy, it was refreshing!

Promise Yourself to go back to Your Surf School for a Better Experience: My epiphany before leaving Baler: I missed it already! A lot of thoughts, wishful thinking and images entered my mind that compelled me to go back in Baler as soon as possible. In the end, I promised myself to return and train harder, be braver, and be more accommodating to unfriendly, loud waves. 

I know that in time I can be adept in surfing.   

Just a thought: if you can change every word 'surfing/ surf" with "life" in this post, how would you have seen the activity then? Would you think of it as exciting or boring? For me, I went to Baler only to surf; fortunately I got back in Manila to ponder on the wonders of this thing called.....

Tara, friends. Surf tayo! Mamatay tayong fresh!

The First Morning. The Breakfast that is Masarap na, Sobrang Tagal pa

This is it. The First Session (when I performed my best)

 Lucky Five: Chance Passengers and My Seat was Totally Uncomfortable

My Mom knows a LOVE STORY

It is a quiet Saturday afternoon inside our house today. I am reading, my siblings are attending to their digital concerns, my mom is ironing our clothes while our neighbor is playing 96.3 Easy Rock FM on loud speakers.

I have to go to inside a room because while the music is good, it distracts me from reading a (nonetheless) self-help book. With the unexpected playing of some songs, my mom quips, "bata pa ako nung sumikat yang kantang 'yan," and "alam mo pinanuod pa namin ni Papa mo sa sine yung pelikula niyan, yang yung theme song. Sa Cubao pa yun e." 

Each of us continues with our different worlds until my mother felt nostalgic in one song: Endless Love, a duet by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie. She starts recalling...

(not in her exact words)

Alam niyo mayroon akong kaklase noong first year college
Bata pa lang siya, sila na nung boyfriend niya noon. Mag-first love sila. First boyfriend na yun
Tapos 'yan yung theme song nila. Tuwing tumutugtog yan, kumakanta sila, sumasayaw sila
Lahat kami kinikilig. Ang sweet sweet nila
Tapos isang araw, yung boyfriend niya, nagpunta ng Navotas sa bahay nila
Nahold-up, eh nanlaban yata, napatay
Tapos yung kaklase ko, sobrang nalungkot siya na umabot sa hindi na siya nakapag-aral
Gabi-gabi nandun kami sa burol ng boyfriend niya. Iyak kami nang iyak kasi iyak siya ng iyak
Facetowel ang dadalhin mo dahil hagulgol ka sa kanya
Tapos araw-araw hinahanap namin siya, hindi siya makita sa bahay nila
Nandun pala siya sa sementeryo, sa puntod ng boyfriend niya
Minsan dinadala na lang namin siya ng pagkain

Tuwing naririnig ko yung kantang yan, yung kaklase kong yun yung naaalala ko
Asan na kaya yun. Hindi ko nga alam kung nakapagtapos ng pag-aaral yun
Ang alam ko nag-aral siya after ng ilang taon. Pinilit na lang yata siya ng pamilya niya nun
Pero siya ayaw niya na talaga
Sabi lumipat na daw sila sa Cavite
Hindi ko rin alam kung nakapang-asawa pa siya
Ano na kaya nangyari doon

Kaya tuwing naririnig ko talaga yang kantang yan, yung Endless Love
Hindi ko mapigilang maiyak
Naaalala ko sila, ang sweet sweet nila
Tapos namatay yung lalaki. Kawawa naman yung kaklase ko.
Hindi ko talaga mapigilang umiyak tuwing naririnig ko yung kantang yan



My mother grabbed me and my sister's attention with her monologue. She occasionally stopped from ironing and wiped her tears with a towel. 

We can't help but think of where is that woman now? That girlfriend who still went to the cemetery everyday after her boyfriend's interment. That young lady who traded her studies to experience the pain and chose to live with it. She must be one blessed woman right now because of her guardian angel. A man so young, promising, loyal and sweet who looks up to her from heaven thinking, "I'm so sorry to leave early. But I thank God for your loyalty."

To the people reading this, if you cannot recall the lyrics of Endless Love, you need not Google it anymore. The way my mother recounted that love story is better than singing the song entirely.

Wow. What a way to spend Saturday afternoon. 

It's way past 5 P.M. now. I am done reading the book, my mother is also done with the ironing while our neighbor has turned off the radio. Within minutes, another story was born and I could not have been happier.

Staring at the Wall

Tuesday Night. I talked to one person I know from way back and the conversation we had helped me move on with a lot of issues I held on to since November. I though I did fine during our talk. However, from Wednesday to Friday, I felt heavy deep inside and I only had one word for it: stress. 

I will not go into details on what we talked about. It was good. But something about the conversation made me rethink the state I am currently in. And then I felt that our talk was just the 'icing on the cake.' I realized that the reason we conversed is because soon enough, I would have to revisit an old fear and an ancient quest.  

Friday Lunch time. Stress and disorientation got the best of me and as a cure, I went to the bookstore and bought my first self-help book from Bro. Bo Sanchez entitled "Your Past Does Not Define Your Future." I read it in the bus while travelling home and I was deeply touched with some of the messages and anecdotes in the book. 

Mind you, I have always wanted to read it since college but I didn't have the courage to pick it up and place it on the cashier. I always told myself, "may perfect timing ang pagbabasa ko niyan." And last night was 'that' time.

I admire how Bro. Bo opened up about his addictions -- his struggles with sex, pornography, masturbation, and more importantly, finding and revaluing himself. I believe that to some extent, all of us can relate to what he has gone through, maybe not with sex and lust but with addiction itself. I, for one, am undergoing through a lot recently and I thank him for reminding me that there is indeed hope and rescue that is always available for us, courtesy of God. 

Too much holiness and godliness now. If you would let me continue, I'd like to share with you a part of the book:

CHAPTER 10: UNTIL YOU GET HEALED (my short version)

There was a woman in a mental facility and she was violent, helpless even. Everyone including her doctors have given up on her and she was left secluded in her room and always staring at the wall. 

Everyone quit on her, except one person.

The janitor in the hospital has always wanted to help her and see if there is still a means to cater her recovery. What he did was after his duty, he would go inside the woman's room, his own chair by the hand, sit parallel with the woman and stare at the wall with her for 30 silent minutes. 

Years have passed and this routine continued. One day, the janitor sat beside the woman, as usual, and surprisingly, the woman started talking and it evolved into conversations. Eventually the woman was released from the mental hospital fully recovered.

And why was she healed? Because there was one man who through his actions, told the woman, "Listen lady, I'm going to stay here beside you. I'm never going to leave you. I'll sit here with you until you get healed."


I wish all of us would get to meet our own version of that janitor someday. But as Bro. Bo put it, and I totally agree, that janitor is God. He will never leave us. He will sit beside us, year on year, until we get healed from whatever it is that has been causing us pain.


In general, I am not a fan of reading self-help books because they tell of a story of one person's triumph and his recommendations which are not applicable for everyone. And when I do, which is seldom, I see to it that even from judging it by the cover, it is a worthwhile read. With this book, I wasn't wrong.  

Believe that your past does not define your future. 

And as I continue on with life, I hope I can walk focused now and avoid more of that Tuesday night in the coming days. 

(Photo not mine)

My 2013 in Books, Films, etc.

Below this post is my 2012 in Books, Films, etc. For now, may I present to you my short list of books and films I managed to pick up, read or watch despite my busy schedule :)

When 2013 came, I promised myself  to read more books by Filipino writers. And I can say that I have been keeping that promise good enough :)

BOOKS:

1. Unholy Night, Seth Grahame- Smith - here's to another look at the Three Wise Men who graced the nativity of Jesus Christ. Prepare yourself for an emotional roller-coaster ride in Seth's take on the unspoken life of Balthazar
2. Looking for Alaska, John Green - maganda rin 'to!
3. Room, Emma Donoghue - another young hero emerges from this beautiful novel
4. Paper Towns, John Green 
5. Lumayo Ka Nga Sa Akin, Bob Ong - Jumpstarting my Pinoy reads. Welcome back, Bob Ong. Meaning, this book is funny!
6. Young Blood 4, Various - inspiring and honest essays from the twenty-somethings
7. Harry Houdini's Box, Brian Selznick - a really nice children's bed time story
8. Tahong/ Talong, Various - a collection of short homoerotic stories from promising Filipino writers
9. Laglag Panty, Laglag Brief, Various - the hetero version of the former
10. The Golden Loom, Various - a collection of Palanca award-winning children's stories 
11. This is a Crazy Planets 2, Lourd De Veyra -  more blessing (and curses) from the Lourd!
12. Manila Noir, Various - a collection of crime fiction from established and awarded Filipino writers here and abroad
13. Ang mga Kagila-gilalas na Pakikipagsapalaran ni Zsa Zsa Zaturnah, Carlo Vergara - LOL, yun lang!
14. The 100 Year-Old Man who Climbed out the Window and Disappeared, Jonas Jonasson - you would wish that Alan Karlsson, the protagonist, is your lolo :)
15. Sellevision, Augusten Burroughs - hindi ko talaga siya favorite e no? This is his first novel and pati itong genre na ito, he can rule!
16. The Adventures of Huckelberry Finn - nandaya ako kasi this is the easy-read edition; as in pambata siya. Haha
17. Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino - sobrang ganda. yun na!
18. Ligo na U, Lapit na Me, Eros Atalia - overkill ang satire. For me lang ah! :)
19. Siddhartha, Herman Hesse 

FILMS:

1. The Kids Are All Right (again)
2. No Strings Attached 
3. Life of Pi :)
4. Spread
5. Les Miserables' :)
6. Hansel & Gretel
7. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
8. The Expendables 2
9. Upside Down
10. You Don't Mess with a Zohan
11. Brave
12. Jack the Giant Slayer
13. Oz: The Great and Powerful
14. Tekken
15. Bounty Hunter
16. The Help
17. December Boys
18. SAW 6
19. 50/50 :)
20. Avengers (again)
21. The Dark Knight (Heath Ledger!)
22. Silver Linings Playbook
23. Brokeback Mountain
24. Bad Teacher
25. Secret Life of Bees
26. Ted
27. Iron Lady
28. We need to talk about Kevin :)
29. Hangover 3 :))
30. EPIC
31. Four Sisters and a Wedding :')
32. Despicable Me 2 :))
33. Across the Universe (again)
34. Wolverine :)
35. Quick Change
36. Porno (????)
37. Before Midnight :))
38. Apartment 143 (walang kwenta)
39. Percy Jackson & the Sea of Monsters :(
40. Ekstra
41. Before Sunrise :)
42. Instant Mommy
43. Lihis
44. Eat Pray Love (again)
45. Good Will Hunting (again)
46. Sapi
47. Bekikang
48. Running with Scissors :)
49. Hunger Games: Catching Fire
50. This is the End
51. Prisoners
52. Don Jon
53. Water for Elephants
54. Kimmy Dora: And Kiyemeng Prequel

CONCERTS:

The Script's #3 Live in Manila

Thank you, Lord for keeping an eye on my soul with these books and films that contribute to my well-being. Cheers to another year with love for the arts! :)

My 2012 in Books, Films, etc.

Today is the last day of 2013 and I know I should be doing a roundup for This Year. But pardon me as I will write first my 2012 in Books, Films, and even some artsy highlights. (Hindi ko kasi nagawa noon, so ngayon na lang :) )

BOOKS:

1. A Separate Peace, John Knowles - classic, it cuts so deep it's hard to process emotionally
2. The Lost Symbol, Dan Brown
3. Have a Little Faith, Mitch Albom - tears. always. 
4. Pitik Bulag sa Buwan ng Pebrero, Ricky Lee - I bet only hardcore Lee fans would know this feminist stage play existed
5. Feathers, Jacqueline Woodson - children's book on racism; hindi ko na matandaan ang story
6. The Street Lawyer, John Grisham - my first Grisham read, I was not disappointed :)
7. Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky - "we accept the love we think we deserve," enough said!
8. Eleven Minutes, Paulo Cuehlo - it's one of the many 'self-seeking' novels of Paulo; too many life lessons to comprehend
9. Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, Mark Haddon - another classic tale which was inspired by deduction systems of Sherlock Holmes
10. The Giver, Lois Lowry - there is a reason why this is considered a classic children's tale :) And it's movie version will be shown this 2014 :)
11. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini - oh well, my favorite novel thus far :')
12. Running with Scissors, Augusten Burroughs - my favorite memoir :)
13. The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd - a nice religious, feminist novel
14. Mister Pip, Lloyd Jones - a gift from my best friend. Truly a treat! A major inspiration of this book is The Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
15. Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger - I honestly need to read this again because I seemingly did not comprehend it the way it should be understood
16. Possible Side Effects, Augusten Burroughs - LOL essays from one of the 'funniest men in America'
17. This is a Crazy Planets, Lourd de Veyra - marami kang matututunan; kagaguhan man o seryusohan
18. Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami - nice din 'to. I remember staying late in the office just reading this
19. The Fault In Our Stars, John Green - haay nakuuu... lahat ata ng kilala ko, humagulgol dito.
20. Interpreter of Maladies, Jumpha Lahiri - there is a reason why this collection of short stories is a Pulitzer winner. I can read this again and again.
21. A Wolf at the Table, Augusten Burroughs - my third Burroughs book this year?! Wow. This time, he sits down and puts his humor aside from some serious reminiscing of his childhood with, or better yer without, his father. Augusten is really one of my favorite writers!
22. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, Ransom Riggs - kung hanap mo fiction, ito try mo! Fiction to the highest level! Galing lang!
23. You Are Not A Stranger Here, Adam Haslett - hanggang ngayon hirap ako intindihin ang ibang short stories sa compilation na 'to.

FILMS:

1. Manila Kingpin: The Asiong Salonga Story
2. Crazy, Stupid, Love
3. Horrible Bosses
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows (adik lang ako sa kanya)
6. Eat Pray Love
7. Little Miss Sunshine
8. The Lovely Bones
9. Midnight in Paris
10. Rain Man
11. The Talented Mr. Ripley :)
12. The Illusionist
13. Love Me If You Dare (Jeux D' Enfants)
14. Good Will Hunting :')
15. Across The Universe :)
16. Dead Poets Society
17. Requiem for a Dream
18. Unofficially Yours
19. Priceless 
20. Howl
21. The Libertine
22. Benny and Joon
23. The Painted Veil
24. Pans' Labyrinth :)
25. Donnie Darko (????)
26. The Kids Are All Right :) - may I just say, sobrang galing ng cast dito; esp. Annette Benning
27. Hunger Games
28. One Day :')
29. Titanic 3D :')
30. Se7en - Kevin Spacey!
31. Memento (????)
32. Avengers :)
33. Dark Shadows :(
34. Boy Pick Up 
35. Kimmy Dora: The Temple of Kiyeme
36. Abraham Lincoln: The Vampire Hunter
37. Bwakaw
38. The Dark Knight Rises :)
39. Three Musketeers
40. Cars 2
41. I Do Bidoo Bidoo - the music of APO Hiking Society
42. Perks of Being a Wallflower
43. This Guy's In Love with you Mare
44. Hangover 2 - twice kung pinanuod :))
45. 3 Idiots
46. The Hangover
47. A Lot Like Love
48. Tiktik: The Aswang Chronicles - curse you, Lovi Poe and your underacting eyes
49. Skyfall :)
50. Da Pogi Brothers, Weh?
51. Nowhere Boy - biopic on John Lennon's teenage life :)

THEATER:

Bona :))

TV SERIES:

Newsroom :))

CONCERTS:

James Morrison's The Awakening Live in Manila
Ate Gay's Ako Naman! Concert - LOL

Next naman, 2013! Yeah baby! I hope and pray na marami akong natutunan sa mga nabasa at napanuod ko :) Mukhang mayroon naman kahit kaunti :)

Welcome to Pen&Eraser

I started this blog metaphorically using Pencil as the medium in writing my thoughts, well in fact I am typing on laptop keyboard. The pencil indicates that my thoughts are not permanent and so I have to write them for my, and my handful of readers', benefit. I am aware that everything I write can change or be omitted as I mature through time.

As I (slowly and desperately) explore more topics for discussion in this humble and honest blog, I am introducing you to a new segment, Pen&Eraser. Frankly, this is nothing new from the weekly roundups that we see from other sites (SPOT.ph and Rappler, to name a few). In here though, I just want to talk much, write less and maybe entertain more. 

Going direct to business, here is Pen&Eraser (insert Gaga song: I work for the applause, applause, applause): From pencil, Who and What should be retained in this world and should we deeply encourage to propagate their sensible selves, and Who and What should evaporate faster than a newly-blown bubble would. And I'll explain all the reasons Why.


Pen; let's make their mark permanent

1. The covers: Angel Aquino for Rogue and Cherie Gil for Esquire (November Issues)

Here are two ladies, fined by their experience, elegance and artistry, gracing two upper class glossies of the country this month (well, last month kasi December 1 na mapa-publish ang blog ko). Angel shares to her On The Job director Erik Matti what she thinks of Philippine cinema in Rogue's 2nd Cinema issue since Cherie's cover in March 2008 (Oh yes, it's Cherie over and over again in this list.) Angel never dreamed of being a star back in her UP days but look at her now, a constant fixture in some of the most promising projects in the industry -- may it be independent or mainstream.

Cherie, on another note, raises the bar for women in their 50's. She fiercely encourages women to not need a man but always want one instead. A symbol of a woman not to be ignored, Cherie is one of the honest, careless, and classic stars who remain true to her brand -- being an Eigenmann and a foremost primetime antagonist.

2.  The beauties: Mutya Johanna Datul, Megan Young, Ariella Arida

Philippine pageantry has been on the rise these past few years. I don't know why but I think we are slowly becoming the 'Venezuela' of Asia. Nevertheless, these fine young women are really commendable for making us proud during ordinary times and the not-so peaceful of days.

For the second half of this year, Mutya won as Miss Supranational, a beauty fair slowly gaining fame and credibility among pageant aficionados. Megan, however, made bigger news as she ends the 47-year curse of title-less Pinay beauties in the beauty-with-a-purpose Miss World. And just recently, Ariella placed fourth in Miss Universe. Fans and forecasters predicted she will take home the crown, even 2012's Olivia Culpo said she was rooting for Ariella. In Ariella's credit, placing fourth is not a bad place to be, especially if you're the only non-Latina in the Top 5. That speaks a lot and we should thank her for that.

P.S. There is really something about how beauty queens react during attendance (see pics above)

3. The Brave Man: Atom Araullo

When Yolanda came in, he made it to worldwide Twitter trend. He also caught the attention of a CNN anchor, prompting him to ask: who is that brave man? Well, this news heartthrob really proved that there is more to his pretty face. And what exactly did he do. Well, Atom Araullo reported live in Umagang Kay Ganda from Tacloban while the storm made its first blow in the country. 

He was there on the street, soaking wet and reporting even when losing communication with the home studio. His bravery, the first to go live among his contemporaries, inspired memes and short FB and twitter love letters from fans and peers, alike.

Eraser; let's get rid of them. Sayang lang sa space sa earth

1. The super typhoon: Yolanda, enough said.

 By November the media have been warning the public of a super typhoon coming our way. This Yolanda became a household name and brought red signal to every conversation in offices, canteens, schools, government, and uhm... the world? It remained true to its promise of being famous for setting world records and basically turning the Central Philippines from green to gray in Google Earth.

Everyone was suddenly on their feet, calling for and giving out help. It was really a hard time for our country no matter how you look at it; from the POV of a government official, housewife, student, priest, media, or what-have-yous and who-are-yous. I think the only person happy that Yolanda happened is Dick Gordon, because uhm... we all know why. You know that red cross thingy... (my parents volunteered and they saw how more expensive canned goods and other imported items are being excluded in the relief bags. sad but unsurprisingly)

2. The super Yolanders: Korina Sanchez, Jejomar Binay, That Yellow Ribbon

[He said, she said, they reacted] When CNN superstar anchor Anderson Cooper reported live from Tacloban, he said he didn't see much on-the-ground effort from the government. When ABS-CBN pokerface anchor Korina Sanchez heard this, she said he doesn't know what he is talking about. When netizens heard her say that, they said: He's in Tacloban and you're in your radio booth. Who do we believe to be telling the truth? Not to mention that netizens slammed Korina for (allegedly) protecting her husband's reputation as our Interior Secretary. 

We have not heard from Korina since then. Thanks to her management. Frankly, I think that people just overreacted. Anderson Cooper will be given a Star in the Eastwood Walk of Fame by entertainment guru German Moreno while the White House said they are looking for possibly appointing Cooper as their PH envoy; just because he covered the story. Why did it not happen with other foreign media as well? Meanwhile, Korina was suspended for an indefinite period while netizens ranted against her without any concrete solutions raised to help the victims. Again, frankly I think people just overreacted.

Going back, where do all these commendations for Cooper come from? Is it because of his story or plain idolatry?

Jejomar Binay, on the other hand, was simply everywhere during the relief efforts. And this I say with all the literal implications of the word: his face is on every relief goods and plastic bags donated to the victims. Mind you, even on drinking water. He said it was his 'friends'' idea but honestly, Jejomar, didn't you think it was way too loyal of them as it was already blatantly inappropriate and insensitive? And of course, I felt sad when I also saw That Yellow Ribbon on other plastic bags. That used to be a noble and dignified symbol of our nationalism. And the way they stuck it in those bags, it lost all the meanings it used to have. 

To my politicians: Yolanda during, before and after, was not your time to shine. Clearly, there are people who died and suffered. The last thing I, we, want is for dole outs to be in yellow or orange stickers. And it was also sad that the President wildly entertained a blame game with the LGUs. Care to show some maturity and urgency, please. 

Pencil; I don't know where to put you because of the polarity of the incidents in your life this month

1. The boxer and the tax evader: Manny Pacquiao

He is back! Said the headlines last November 25, a day after our 'pambansang kamao' reclaimed his kingship in the boxing ring against Brandon (totally unmatched for him) Rios. Again, people were in celebratory mood because he 'raised' our flag despite the aftermath of Yolanda. But to our surprise, days after gaining his new belt, he was knocked out with an ATM saying: Hey Manny, congrats on additional bills, unfortunately you cannot withdraw a single cent from me. Talk to BIR for more information and inquiries.

Yes, the country's (perhaps) most hated bureau said that Manny didn't pay his dues for a period way back 2009. Manny's side rebutted that he paid his taxes in the US and he will not repeat losing some more (or paying the PH government). This appeal to correct Manny's tax payment has been under the radar since but when BIR finally made it public, it was instantly a huge issue. The money we are talking about already reached P2.2 billion, and is still increasing. Frankly, Pacman, you should talk to Kim Henares. She is a woman of substance, honor, and lots of guns.  I hope this gets fixed cleanly and honestly.

2. The new Muslim lovers: Freddie Aguilar and his sweet sixteen keychain

Why do people care if national music icon Freddie Aguilar is so fond of her minor girlfriend? To some he is a pedophile, well to me, he is in love. And let me remind you that the girl reciprocates the affection and seems to be normal during interviews and photo ops. Why do people focus on them when we have bigger issues to resolve? Where is Janet Napoles now? do CBCP and DSWD care? (my search for Janet is good for another blog, altogether). 

Let them live and let them be. At the very least, nobody is harmed and/or killed yet. Although admittedly, converting to another religion, may it be Islam or not, can really get controversial especially if the intent is union and/or marriage only. Again, I don't want to think about it, I have my own dilemmas. Buti nga siya may syota eh?! 


Most of the time when two people are in love, others are happy for them as well. But all that changes when they are 44 years apart, biologically. Why is that so, sige nga "anak", pakiexplain, labyu!


***photos are not mine

When Five Fell

When 2013 came, I swore I'd give Filipino books their longed-for chance and focus on them for good. Gladly, I am keeping my promise. 

Meanwhile, another literary shift I am slowly yet fondly taking on is reading short stories than novels. You know why? Because an impact a novel leaves us with can be sourced from a mere short story - that is how powerful, or sometimes more, it is for a literary piece. With short stories, you don't necessarily get the details, just settle with emotions and you will have more than what you paid for. In short, there is beauty, and plenty of them, in short stories.

Knowing this, my best friend Khaye recommended that I watch some short films produced by Wung Fu Productions on YouTube. I kept on forgetting this info until she finally shared me a link. After watching the first and her favorite clip, I thought: what have I been browsing in YouTube all those years?

To get a sense of what I am talking about here, kindly watch this clip: 

And oh, please read the caption below FIRST. I didn't understand it the first time because I jumped to the video right away. Khaye was really dumbfounded and I was really ashamed.

"Can the things we love, love us back just the same? Five household objects express their feelings toward their owner when she begins to neglect them for someone else. "When Five Fell" is a new take on the ideal boy-meets-girl love story. Although the short is told from a unique and unconventional perspective, the emotions described should be familiar to anyone that's fallen in or out of a relationship."

Just to manage the length of this blog (though it's a free space), just tell me if you find the video - from script to cinematography - lovely and I'll share you the sweet and short script :) I hope my best friend doesn't get angry because she is my source to all good reads pirated from the web.

Thanks! I'll write to you again, then :)