Pencil Awareness Part 3

Henry Miller, an author whose works I have not yet read, once said that:

The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.

It caught my attention easily. If one would follow this rule in its literal sense, then I bet the book industry would have a better future in sight. Not only would it benefit immensely; the world would also see a new generation of heart-broken poets and writers.

What I am getting at is... as I am writing this, I am thinking of a girl. One girl who can now be put as Gotye's smash hit: somebody that i used to know... or is she really already a somebody to me?

See.. how could I possibly turn into literature someone who I have held dearly for at least a year? It is not easy. 

If I may compare meeting a special someone to reading a book:

It is hard when the first time you opened the book containing her story, you knew that it would  be a good read. There would be countless of good experiences as you progress, and like in most fairy tales, you wished that the author would give you a happy ending.

Indeed, she may have been a good chapter in my life, but as a reader, there are times that it is  painful to leave a chapter and proceed to the next one. More so, finish the book where she lived. But as it is, I have to finish the book because no matter how good it is, there are surely better stories yet unread or unheard of. 

It is hard turning a woman into literature when:

You liked her because she is a woman of good character and straight values.

Her family is faithful and bonded.

She has dreams to pursue both as a professional and as an ordinary wife which adds up to her presence.

You call each other not by names, but by cheesy terms.

She confides to her parents (mostly her mom) everything you did for her and almost everything you did together. It makes you feel freer to do things because as long as you respect their decision, you are not betraying their trust, but instead is gaining it no matter what.


I do not exactly know why I am writing about this.But looking back on that evening, that evening when I so thought that ours is not going to work, it makes me want to question my decision to let her go.

Yeah, I have surely done it to save myself from shattering into pieces but... wasn't it a challenge given to me so I could prove that I am sincerely, genuinely worthy of her? I guess so. Sadly, damage has been done and so prevention is needed no more; what is missing now is the cure.

Cure for me.

I hope you do not get me wrong at this but I am over that chapter in my life. 'Over' in a sense that I do not see a possibility of us getting back together. Hence, I hold no false hope nor do I believe in friends telling me there is. 'Over' also in a sense that I am genuinely excited to find another puzzle piece that fits me better.

When Henry Miller wrote down those words, could he possibly be heart broken, too? or maybe, he is consoling a friend. I do not know for certain. What I know is that this is a short non-linear blog I came up with, and I believe that this is part of literature.

When I was a child, I used to have a big crayon for coloring an apple. When I started to write, I was very selective of my pencils. They have to be sharp,strong, and long. And now that I am grown up, whenever I wanted to make an artwork, I use a colored pencil. I noticed that I am not yet good at using it. Perhaps this inability to master holding a combined crayon and pencil is a manifestation that I cannot produce a worthy output using it, yet.

There are other instruments to create a lasting work of art. That, I am sure of :)

Good night, friends! :)

All Is Well

As I write this, I just changed into my usual sando and boxer short ready-to-sleep attire. I got home revived from an overnight stay with Barkadang Walang Panglan at Arianne’s crib in Silang, Cavite.

Prior to my distressing, I suffered through four gruelling days of overstaying at work. Tuesdays and Wednesday were spent 0930 P.M. for lay outing a news release for our Foundation, Thursday was spared in preparation for our company’s Trick or Treat. That one was until 1000 P.M., and then Friday morning our call time was 0700 A.M. Included in the list of the hurdles was the recent typhoon. With all these in mind, I only thought of one reward: by Saturday and Sunday, I will be with my dear college friends and genuinely enjoy their company.

As part of bonding with my long missed and equally burdened friends, we watched the film Three Idiots Pre; Bollywood film focusing on the story of three engineering students-turned-best friends and their journey through fighting for love, pursuing passion, overcoming fear, and doing everything imaginable (and unimaginable) for a friend.

I know that those of you have watched the film may be teary-eyed now or to better put it, crying. I understand you; for I fell in love with the film as easily as within the first ten minutes. The screenplay is simply beautifully-written. I bet the writer is someone who has been either through so many trials and triumphs in his life or has been unfairly favored with the gift of writing by our Master Scribe. The film is heartwarming. I cannot stop crying not because it is painful, but because it is so inspiring. It made me miss my guy friends Derick and James. Needless to say, among my groups of friends, they are the only ones whom I have not reunited with, yet.

Good news no. 1

The film taught us that whenever we feel unsure, worrisome, afraid, or hopeless, we just have to tap our hearts and whisper ‘all is well’.

Indeed, all is well when you are surrounded by seven of your countless trusted buddies and you are excluded from the hustle and bustle of the metro. All is well when you swap doing the chores, cooking food, buying them in the groceries, and taking pictures. All is well when you know that you missed them and you would endlessly chat in the dining table and the sala. All is well when you know that even if tomorrow you would have to work, you can recall two long days of laughing and loving inside your comfort zone. All is well when you know that after all, they got your back and you got theirs. All is well when you know that no matter how hard hitting your jokes may be, it only meant to say ‘I love you friend’. All is well when I am writing this blog and cannot contain my emotions because I know that we felt better inside and out after our reunion. :’)

 Good news no. 2

I felt particularly excited for Sunday morning because I was anticipating our release in Manila Standard Today. We made a publicity deal with them as part of promoting the efforts of my team, Megaworld Foundation.

By the time I got the copies, I felt thrilled and glad because for one, I was given a chance to do it. Second, it is part of a special edition called ‘CSR giving back to the society’. And third, it was a testament that I can still do things I learned back in school.

B Roll (cut scenes)

By late night, we watched The Hangover II and laughed hard because Chow is one stoned, died, and resurrected bitch, and Alan is annoyingly immature.

We took a series of secret shots of two porn aspirants as inspired by Japanese Hentai. In case you’re wondering, the pics are decent enough to be kept in a comfort room or in a drawer, along with tissues and alcohol. LOL.

We intended and insisted that we swim in the club house but Ayang said otherwise. No one was able to convince (tame) her.

Nadz has a French suitor. Hsam knows the story. We barely do.

Gamz and Ayang nailed most of the pictures themed ‘high fashion’ and ‘sensual’ while I won the ‘alien’ category. Does this mean something? Am I ugly or are my friends really bitchy? Haha.

Hsam is a promising home wrecker. Actually, Mylene predicted she would be one without her 'knowing it'. I can picture Hsam, 40 years old, cyring in the corner and cursing Mylene for that. Sadly Hsam, you first knocked on glass, not on wood. Joke. But it’s okay, as per Zenaida Seba:

Ang mga tala ay gabay lamang. Mayroon tayong free will, gamitin natin ito... Your call, friend.

We drank and barely emptied a Tanduay Mojito. It does not taste good even when cold. Nobody got drunk and/or tipsy.

Kath lost a lot of weight. Her hair cut fits her so much better. She works as a specialist for a water-distribution company. We thought she is a receptionist.

Even when we are already friends for four years, we had A LOT of awkward moments during dinner. I don’t why but we were just crazy that night. We even tried to stop talking to each other over dinner but by at most, ten seconds, we were bursting with laughter. It was just pleasantly, happily awkward.

Encore

God, I feel so blessed. And I thank You because You surely know how to uplift broken motivations, refocus distracted people, and reunite an awesome barkada.

Kafka on the Shore (2005)

Haruki Murakami/ Novel

I have long wanted to read Murakami as he is one of the most recommended Asian authors there are. And to my judgement: he never failed his readers. It feels good to be an addition to his followers.

As promised by the synopsis, Kafka on the Shore took me to a journey involving talking cats, raining fish and leeches, Johnny Walker as a Villain and Colonel Sanders (KFC icon) as a concept. We have Kafka; claiming he to be the world’s toughest 15-year old boy. He ran away from home having an utter disgust for his father. And we also have Nakata, in his sixties, a victim of wartime affliction; something involving the air which made him two weeks unconscious, and upon waking up, lose all his memory and intelligence.

Aside from hating his father, Kafka also tried hard to escape his father’s curse of killing him, falling in love with his mother, and sleeping with her sister (Oediphal prophecy), but to no avail- so to speak.

The two protagonists were lucky to have loyal buddies named Oshima and Hoshino, respectively. Kafka was lost in direction and purpose in life while Nakata is literally lost- for words, meanings, memory, and personal history. Oshima was generous enough to share his wisdom to Kafka and be his guardian. Hoshino, on the other hand, turned his back on everything he possessed in order to assist old Nakata.

Upon reading the novel, I felt a pleasantly crazy feeling stirring inside me. It was plotted very wisely and words of wisdom were overflowing. Fate kept the lives of these characters intertwined. Ironically though, their roads have never met.

Kafka is indeed a very interesting central character. I felt his journey through adolescence, solitude, sex, love, and getaways. His relationship with his turned-out-to-be mother, Miss Saeki is extremely wild yet solemn. To cap it all, I just wished him all the best in life. He is young and full of potentials. I hope he could redeem himself and his youth.

Meanwhile, reading Nakata in between is a little heartbreaking. He is like a grandfather who has high morale; one you know who have lived a very good and contented life, yet it pains a lot to know that after the accident, his family disregarded him and he suffered a series of unfortunate events. What makes thing worse is that he does not know the gravity of his misfortunes. He is awe-inspiring because despite his illiteracy and ignorance, he lived a very simple, and honest life. His seemingly pointless existence has unconsciously changed Hoshino. His death made me cry not mainly because he is gone, but due to Hoshino’s attachment to him. Ah... wish you could read that chapter, too :’(

Kafka on the Shore is overall a good book to read. Just to warn you, it is long and visually heavy yet highly entertaining. It taught me to (1) accept the dictate of fate to men while living happily and meaningfully, nevertheless, (2) and accept loss and learn from it.

This is just a short entry but thank you for reading, by the way. I sincerely wish you get to know Kafka; especially Nakata.

Our James Morrison Concert Experience

On the dot at five thirty P.M.

Rushed to MRT at six.

Reached Araneta Coliseum by six thirty.

Waited to redeem my ticket until eight P.M.

A very hectic and tight time frame I had to endure only to experience James Morrison's artistry.

It is the first time of the English pop singer in the Philippines and as soon as I found out he would be performing for his fans- and I am one of them, bigtime- I did not hesitate to watch him. That is the least that I can do to welcome one of the singers who continually inspires and relaxes me with his songs.

Mind you- this is not a blog about the concert of James Morrison. This is an entry about the prelude of the concert.

Before screaming with joy, we were first panicking because of a commotion regarding our online purchased tickets from one seemingly reputable online dealer. To cut it short, we were expecting to redeem our Upper Box A tickets at the venue. However, to our surprise, both the rules and customer support agent said we should have purchased the tickets in their office at Makati. Mind you, it was not directly stated in the voucher and nobody informed us except when we called them on the night itself. So there we were, gradually losing hope because of misleading information and yet there was no one who came to our rescue.

So, as my patience emptied, I asked the woman who answered our phone calls.

- Sino ka? At anong trabaho mo?

- Si ____ po, customer support.

- Ah, so what kind of support are you giving your customers, then?

*Dead Air

***

- Anong mairerecommend mong solusyon dito ngayon? Naghihintay kami sa wala.. Wala di ba?

- (After few seconds) Wala po

The company does not deserve to be named in this blog for it did not render us quality customer service nor would I want them to pay me for making us feel like ticket-less fans. I am actually sorry that we were rude to rant on the agent as she is not the one handling such transactions; she's only tasked to answer calls and sometimes receive moral damages.

However, the company has to know that these situations really arise. And I think- just to be fair- apologies like...

Hindi po kasi namin alam na may darating diyan (Araneta) na walang ticket (voucher lang), and

First time po itong nangyari sa 'min...are plainly stupid.

As a practicing online dealer of (in this sense) discounted concert tickets, how could you not expect professional customers coming to the venue hoping to redeem the tickets on the night itself- after battling with work loads? Assuming- for the sake of argument- that we can get the tickets at your office in Makati during certain working hours, what would happen to us then if we cannot get them because- as a matter of fact- we are also working during those times. Should you not have the courtesy of informing your customers through phone calls or mail about what they should do? Or is it really hard to conduct business personally that you would insist on not sending a representative to deal with the rising temperaments of these irate professionals? Better think again.

Online businesses can not be entirely propelled by online and electronically-mediated transactions. Your purchasers are real people with real issues once you upset them. Therefore, give them face value and not the music of One Direction and Foster the People as caller ring backs.

Long before we bitched the agent, we realized that we cannot claim the tickets anymore. And so, we have to look for the next best thing: buy tickets from an insider. Instantly, I asked a guy wearing all black, looking much of a production personnel, and anxiously holding his tickets while walking back and forth near the red gate. We asked- begged him to sell us his tickets for Php 1,500.00 and we were lucky because (1) he is obviously not a fan, (2) he has a spare Patron ticket, and (3) the tix are both in the Lowerbox; much nearer than our originally preferred seats.

Needless to say, my friend Lhong has miraculously procured two Lowerbox tickets; so we already have four. After a while, Hsam, Lhong, Mhy, and I are assured of seats nearer to James.

So that was how we ended up enjoying the concert. We may have gone through a highly annoying encounter with the dealer but I think we are really destined to watch James perform live. In the end, it was an additional to-be-cherished and to-be-treasured moments with Barkadang Walang Pangalan. Indeed, all is well that ends well.

Again, I am deeply apologetic to the customer support agent, but I am not sorry- along with five others who relied on the online purchase- for standing up to our oppressor that night. And I don't think I'll trust them again because as Morrison said:

You can't play on broken strings...

How can I give anymore,

When I love you a little less than before?

BONA (2012)

Theater Play
Director: Soxie Topacio
Writer: Layeta Bucoy
Performers: Eugene Domingo, Edgar Allan Guzman, et al.
Genre: Drama, Comedy


Annabelle Rama and Lucy Torres have something in common. They were once avid followers of their now long-time husbands Eddie Gutierrez and Richard Gomez, respectfully. It is a rare opportunity for a screaming and blushing girl to be seriously courted by her ‘dream man’. 

Fair is the deal with Annabelle and Lucy, but to Bona- a fictional character originally portrayed for film in the 80’s by Superstar Nora Aunor, fanaticism could be gravely dangerous. A touch could cost hundreds of thousands of pesos, and worship might lead to demise of relationships with loved ones.

I have not watched the film- only read it through the internet- and so I was intrigued when everybody else is talking about Eugene Domingo- yes, the versatile theater-tv-film comedy actress, being set to revive the role of Bona in a stage adaptation for the Philippine Educational Theater Association (PETA).



The Premise

Bona (Eugene Domingo) is a spinster call center agent who excessively supports a reality-show contestant/ star wannabe Gino Sanchez (Edgar Allan Guzman). 
An accidental viewing of Gino’s life story before getting in the contest “Star of Tomorrow” caused Bona to empathize with the teenager. Since watching it, she vows to support Gino until he is successful. Coinciding with this commitment is the series of unfortunate events consisting of her break-up with Jordan; hims robbing her off the team leader position because he romanced with their operations head, and the life-long dependence of her sister Vicky.

Bona follows Gino in mall shows and the recognition becomes intimate. She cleans him, she feeds him, and she supports him financially despite the opposition from her friends, family, and the sincere marriage offer of Bert- an established single man of her age.

She tries hard enough to fit to Gino’s lifestyle in the elusive world of showbizness. She believes of a love based on gratitude and not feelings. She resorts to false worship. Until one day she faces the truth that what she believes to sustain her actually consumes her.


BONA: A certified Gino’s Angel

Fanaticisim has always been a part of Filipino popular culture. For love teams, our parents have followed the ups and downs of Guy and Pip, Vilma and Bobot and William- Maricel. Our elder siblings knew what happened to Bobby- Angelou, Marvin- Jolina, Piolo - Judy Ann, Jericho- Kristine and Rico- Claudine. Our generation was once saturated with Gerald- Kim, John Lloyd- Bea and now Julie Ann- Elmo. For boybands, we had Westlife, A1, BSB. And now, we have KPop, Asianovelas and Hollywood continually making girls and guys alike to drool. Long before they were born, Bona already knew of such term- she once lived it.

In the beginning of the play, Bona is showed as a devout worshipper of the Black Nazarene. This trait s later hurt me because she has mismanaged her faith and used it to ask for Gino’s attention, a source of money for Gino’s launching picture (which is hardly pronounced by Gino as lunching piktyur), and as an escape in dealing with her dilemma.

Bona was a fool in believing that love could be earned through funding a starlet’s presscon and launching picture, doing the chores for him, and serving as his financier- personal assistant at the same time. 

Given these, Bona received harsh and offending words from her friends, like:

“ Buti pa ang katulong eh, ang pagpapakahirap nila, may sweldo... ikaw wala”- Bert, convincing Bona that her efforts would not be payed back by love. 

“Wag mo na lang bayaran ang utang mo, Bona. Sa iyo na ‘yan... abuloy ko na lang sa’yo!”- Buddy (Bona’s bestfriend)

Despite the criticisms toward her, Bona admitted that she is not stupid not to be realistic. As per her, “mas malulungkot ako kung sa kabila ng pagbibigay ko, wala pa rin siyang (Gino) narating”- which stresses the most commendable traits of Bona, as a person.

She is a woman of compassion. She never fails to help a family, a friend, or even a stranger. She is also understanding and composed.  She did not lose her head even when dealing with Gino’s lamest excuses. 



BONA bitches around

I would like to mention the ending part though when Bona deliberately splashed hot water to the scantily-clad Gino. The execution of that scene is just highly anticipated. Before the incident, Gino was ranting his life’s misery, and Bona, equally troubled with issues that she cannot share him, is just staring at the boiling water. The boiling water is a very good metaphor of Bona losing her composure and temper she could not contain it, hence, she threw him the water. And the last word of Bona is everybody’s wish she would say: Putang Ina Mo! – as hard as concrete. Not to mention that while cursing him, Bona was holding the Black Nazarene.  Just mad genius! I wish I could be able to see that scene in the 80’s classic.



BONA and company
The acting is highly commendable. Uge, being the lovable comedienne that she is, once again proved that she is of high calibre and a dramatic actress better than those we watch during primetime. She was able to not go over the comic parts of the play. This restraint resulted in the balance of comedy-drama-tragedy feel of the story. 

Edgar Allan did not show any weakness at all. He sounded drunk when drunk, he talked as if he was really a poor boy from the province (prejudice aside), and he made Gino’s character equal, if not more superior than Bona’s (considering that everyone is watching in awe at Eugene). Nonetheless, he was equally noticed.  I saw artista wannabes in his portrayal, really. Those with ‘pity me’ stories yet after the competition have been on headlines due to ill manners and violence.

Aside from the two main cast, Bert is another fan favorite. Everyone appreciated his sincere offer to Bona. There were a lot of reactions during their doorknob, flower and lease contract scenes.

The following are sample dialogues (not in actual wordings):

“Ang doorknob, pag naluma, kinalawang, pwedeng ayusin...at pag naayos na, pwede mo na uling buksan ang pinto (ng ‘yong pusong nakasara)... para papasukin yung taong nasa labas.”

“Ang bulaklak, kahit gaano kabango at kaganda, ay nalalanta rin...”

“Yung kontrata na yan na lang ata ang nagdudugtong sa ‘ting dalawa. Ako, nahanap ko na ang kontratang pipirmahan ko at magpapaligaya sa ‘kin habambuhay. Ikaw? Sana mahanap mo na ang kontrata mo...”

“Andito lang ako, Bona... nasa baba lang ako kung may kailangan ka. May nasira mang doorknob o wala”

So sad...how could a love so sincere be so damn rejected?  (Nakaka-relate ako?! Haha)

Going back. I also loved how she chose to destroy the image of Gino after all the worship she did. Gino’s body is his investment in showbizness. It is the body that Bona scrubs in the bath tub. It is the same body that Bona had sex with. And that body became the symbol for Gino’s deterioration and coming back to his reality- his sick status.


In all, Bona is full of symbolisms that would make us think: as ordinary men, up to what extent do we have to go to for the person we admire? Should we be blinded by his image and let submission sustain us and consume us at the same time? Or should we look into ourselves and discover the star that is there all along? It may be a humble person helping a sister, a true friend to a gay couple, or a ninang- benefactor to a promising Godchild. Whatever it is, I felt like I have known Bona for a long time and I am concerned about her after Gino in her life.



Si Bona at ako

Personally, I am a fan of Eugene Domingo. She looks so ‘masa’ yet she acts and carries herself so sophisticated. After the play, we were slightly saddened that there was no meet-and-greet since they still have a performance by 8 PM. So we contented ourselves with taking photos on the standees and tarpaulins. Before leaving the theater, we decided to glance upon the closest tarp to the back stage which contains pictures of the classic film by Lino Brocka. Later on, we heard an usher told the VIPs that they may see Eugene discreetly. We saw it as a chance and entered in the door quietly. And there she was... accommodating few guests while chewing on her early dinner. 

We chanced an autograph, photo, and handshake with her. She is such a loveable creature. I wish I could be a certified Uge’s Angel, too.

Piyesta sa PICC

Alone among thousands of attendees standing up for one God.

I just got home from attending The Feast at PICC for the first time. ‘The Feast’ is a catholic prayer meeting of the Light of Jesus Family headed by its founder, Bro. Bo Sanchez. The Feast also welcomes non-members like me who simply wants to attend a mass, praise and sing for God and listen to testimonies and practical advice on becoming a holistically-better son of man and of God.

Fr. Tituz  Mananzan, SVD celebrated the Holy Eucharist. Before he asked us to sit down, he mentioned we were there- I was there- because God planned for us to be there. He wanted us to partake in the celebration. And then there came the first wave of my suppressed tears. I could not believe the feeling. I have been attending Feast at SM Manila for almost a year now and I am sincerely distressed by doing such, however, the PICC experience gave me an overwhelming sense of blessings and comfort.

YOUNIQUE

The title of the four-part series for the month of August is YOUNIQUE. In simple terms, it aims to help attendees identify the facets that make them unique; a standout; without having to neither conform nor imitate; uniquely created in the liking of the Father.
Part one is about my personality. I found out that mine is mainly Sanguine which is characterized by a great sense of humor, cheerful bearings, trustworthiness and loyalty. I totally affirm that. Part two talks about my birth order. Being a second child, I possess the ‘de-identify’ mentality. That is, not to take the same path that my older sister took. Again, I affirm to that. Part three is my childhood. In here Bro. Bo said that nothing just happens. Indeed, my past was not perfect, but it was perfect for my purpose. Now I am three times affirmative.


PART FOUR

The part four talks about my mission. In here, Bro. Bo identified the means of achieving my mission similar to that needed when playing a bow and arrow- it requires alignment. The bow is my passion, the arrow as potentials, and the apple (an ancient symbol for target in archery) is my purpose or mission in life. 

Here is how it works:

The bow is the passion. As humans, we possess this ceaseless desire to be good at something, may it be at work, in sports, in parenting, or in business-, among others.  However felt, it will not work if it will not be put into actions. A man need to fuel his passion, he needs motivation, the driving force. So much so that it is not enough to simply hold a bow, but to stretch it as tight as I can to achieve a powerful catapult. 

The arrow is the symbol for our potentials. I may have the abilities or intelligence to excel in one thing yet if I do not practice nor hone it, nothing will happen too. Like when using an arrow, an archer may have the perfect projectile, but considering that the arrow is bent or blunt, it will not hit the target.

The apple is the purpose. It is what we strive to achieve in life. When we stretch the bow hardly, achieve the perfect angle, fixate a sharp, strong arrow, we will hit our target. 


SUPERSTAR ME

Another notable point from Bro. Bo- he believes, and so do I- that God has given us a unique gift that make us a Superstar in our own world. He admitted that he is not the world’s best preacher, but to his own world, he is. He is the best when you look for a preacher who is (1) Lay, (2) Catholic, (3) Married, (4) Practical, (5) both Funny and Corny, (6) Storytellers, (7) English- speaking; he actually explained why he is poor in Tagalog, and (8) who have mole on the left cheek.

I realized that I can be a superstar, too. I may not be the best guy there is, but I am a superstar in the world of guys who are (1) bookworms, (2) honor graduates, (3) has many girl friends, (4) eligible bachelors, (5) with great sense of humor and entertainment, (6) life of a party, (7) writers, (8) sincere, (9) with edgy jaw lines, (10) not so tall at all. That is my niche! I am such a star!


CORE STRENGTH

Just a quick review of Bro. Bo’s talk regarding core strength; one must identify his strengths and weaknesses. In order to be a superstar in your own knighted rights, focus on your strength and forget your weaknesses. When one tries to develop his weaknesses, he can only be as good as C or C+. However, when one nurtures his strengths, he becomes an A or A+. 

I would have to say that while I agree that we should focus on our strength, it is also valuable not to forget your weaknesses because they make us more humane and vulnerable. They remind us of a gap that we are forever in search of. And whatever they may be that we lack in the physical world, God can provide.

He cited further that the problem with the education system is that students are trained to be a jack of all trades, but master of none. In this sense, students are being taught to be good at all subjects offered in the curriculum and they grow up being mediocre in all of them. With this, I instantly thought of thanking TESDA for providing technical and vocational skills to the underprivileged. Yes, it may be weird, but come to think of it, TESDA is very much appreciated by millions because it gives its students a chance to be skilful in something others are not. Given that most of them have feared the academe, they are being offered a detour on the way to a livelihood, hence stability. They could be superstars in their own world, too.


I AM FULL

Prior to going to the Feast, I have never felt so full (busog)- spiritually speaking. I was in a feast where everybody is invited. We were offered a buffet of faith, love, and thanksgiving. We said a lot of prayer during the three-hour meals. I chit-chatted with new found acquaintances.  And you know what’s forever good about this Feast- I will never get stomach ache because I know who the Cook is. 

Pencil Awareness 2


Kakauwi lang namin galing sa Manila Doctors Hospital. Hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko.Hindi ko talaga gusto ang nangyari. Nagpapasalamat na lang ako kasi naagapan ang mga kailangang agapan sa mama ko. Pero hanggan kailan aagapan? Hindi ba pwedeng sa umpisa ay iwasan na agad? 

Naghahanap ako ng 'funny moment' habang naka-confine ang mama ko, pero wala eh. Ang dami kasi naming hinarap- ung napakalakas na habagat na pumilay sa trapiko ng kamaynilaan (at ng halos buong Luzon at Visayas), yung schedule naming lima na nagpapalitang magbantay sa kanya, yung gastos na isang linggo lang tumungtong na ng otsenta mil, at yung pag-iisip na uuwi ka ng bahay at hindi kayo kumpleto- yung isip ko nasa Room 517A ng MaDocs.


Agad- agad

Gawa nga ng trabaho ko, kinailangan naming tumulong sa mga nasalanta ng baha sa maraming lugar sa Luzon. Bumili kami ng mga relief goods, nag-compute, nag-impake, bumiyahe nang pagkatagal-tagal, at nag-abot ng 400 relief bags- paumpisa lang yan. Maganda sa pakiramdam ang nakaktulong, pero kung may pagkakataon lang, ayoko na muna, mas gugustuhin kong magbantay sa mama ko sa hospital. 

Itong buwan ng Agosto, medyo hindi ko nagustuhan ang mga kailangan naming pagdaanan. Ako at ang mga magulang ko ay kinailangang magpa-check up para sa kung anu-anong kumplikasyon na baka nga isang sakit. Salamat na lang at wala namang nakitang malala. At yung kay mama- uulitin ko- naagapan ang sa kanya.


At 21

At 21 years old, nagulat ako at kinailangan ko nang magpa-ECG at 2DEcho para masolusyunan ang occasional chest pains at shortening of breath ko.Aba, teka?! -laging reaksyon ng mga doktor- ang bata mo pa?!

After all the medical procedures, wala pa rin. Normal naman daw. So ano ito? ah alam ko na-STRESS. Napapansin ko nga, sa tuwing hindi ko nagugutuhan ang mga nangyayari o ayoko na ng ginagawa ko, may nananakit sa kin-puso, batok, utak...kung anu ano.


Hinga.Kalma.Dasal.

Sa kabila ng lahat ng hirap ko, lagi kong iniisip na importanteng wag kong makalimutan ang huminga, kumalma, at magdasal. Ako ay isang anak ng Diyos- hindi niya ako pinapabayaan. Wala siyang problemang ibinibigay na hindi ko kayang solusyunan. 

Sabi nga, Why worry when I can pray? at tsaka Pray Until Something Happens (PUSH).

Anu pa man ang kailangan naming pagdaanan balang araw, tatapatan ko yan ng panalangin at pasasalamat. 


Haaay...may the best procedure (medical vs. spiritual) wins!


Hindi ito ang first time na dumaan na naman ang utak ko sa kahirapan- eto yung una na nai-blog ko  http://whenpencilwrites.tumblr.com/post/14055799037/pencil-awareness 

My 5-in-1 Summer

Do you know what I did last Summer? Well, I went on outings- yes, with an S. I beat the summer heat with five of them :)

Harley's 7th Birthday at Pansol, Laguna (Apr 21)

Harley is my first god son from a cousin. During his birthday's prelude, we partied overnight at their place. Honestly though, I only enjoyed the eating and picture takings. I did not drink. Instead, I finished reading "The Giver" by Lois Lowry- one of the finest childrens' book author I read.

The morning after, I simply enjoyed the day with both Sarabia and Figueroa clans. Of course, we were delighted by the children surrounding us- especially our favorite nephew- Howen :)

Baby Precious' Baptismal/ Porwan Trek at Cuenca, Batangas (May 20)

Baby Precious is the first born of my high school friend, Rose. We were invited to be her god parents. We saw it as an opportune time for a mini-reunion. There were eleven of us during that two-day trip.

The highlight of our trip is the Lumampao Trek- going down to and up from the foot of Taal Lake. We devoted thousands of steps to and from the location but given the chance, I would surely do that again. 

It was such a stress- reliever and I am so grateful to be with nature during that time; especially because the day after, I turned 21.

 

Megaworld's Company Outing at White Rock, Zambales (May 25)

This outing is the farthest yet the most boring among the five I have been. Why? Because we served as organizers for this event. We catered to the needs of more than a thousand employees of our company.

Unlike other outings which overemphasize DISTRESS and LEISURE, I had to hurdle with 2:00 A.M. call time, transportation committee duties, and whole day (pre,during, and post-) work. No swimming, only working; all for their happiness.

Nevertheless, it is one way of God telling me to work hard first, and I knew that there will be another chances for me.

Megaworld's HR-CSR Outing at Pansol, Laguna (Jun 23) 

A month after organizing an event for the company, we had our own. It is a simple gathering in very child-friendly private pool. If I would rate this event with 10 being the highest and 1 as lowest, it would be:

6 for satisfaction/ 10 for the billiards/ 9 for the food/ 5 for the bonding... it's a so-so.

I am just thankful to at least be given another two days to relax together with life-size characters from disney, nickelodeon, avengers, and real-life HR-CSR peeps. By the way, I will not discredit my time with CSR while we were preparing the lunch.

Megaworld's Audit-CSR-Executive Team Building at Shercon Resort, Batangas (Jul 28)

And to put an end to my long-lived summer, I joined the Audit-CSR-Executive team building activity. I have to be honest in saying that prior to my participation, I was pissed off with my team- because all of them have other things to do/ in mind. Hence, they were not able to experience what I did. It is indeed ironic to join a team building without all of my team mates.

What made me decide to join is my craving for new acquaintances and the exciting part of being a stranger for two days among bonded groups. I told myself to be real and find time to enjoy and relax. It was just hard because there were moments when I wish my teammates could have been with me, too.

Nevertheless, I eagerly participated in the activities and the bonding sessions. I was also pleased to make friends with some of the scholars of Megaworld Foundation. 

Overall, it was such a great way to end my summer spree.

Prior to having my first work, I saw summer as a means to relax,free your mind and spirit, and get gladly,soaking wet. Never did I imagine that there will be one summer when I will be experiencing all of these for five times, technically speaking.

With this blog and the heavy rain pouring on to the Philippines today due to hanging habagat (not typhoon yet), I officially bid summer goodbye!

'Til we meet again, sun!

The Not-So-Green Archers

I spent my Thursday afternoon 'til evening looking for prospective high school scholars from De La Salle- Adult Nigh High School in Green Hills. To us, it is a new road to take on since for almost a decade now, we only support college students.

Overview

DLS-ANHS is not the main school for teenage Green Archers. It is the education facility for the underprivileged who were not able to attain secondary education. Hence, most of them are way past their teenage years.

School starts at 3:00 P.M. and ends by 9:30 P.M. Students take up the usual high school subjects complete with technical- vocational skills.

If a student is enrolled in ANHS since his first year, he will then be receiving Php 500.00 monthly for the rest of his stay in the institution. This allowance is from the government. Meanwhile, enrollees have to pay for an estimate of Php 300.00 for their tuition fees.

The Encounter

Upon completion of their application forms and exams, Sir Mike and I were excited to get to know them. 

Among the remarkable students that night was a former personal assistant of a sexy star turned notable character actress. During his stint as her assistant, he is succumbed to pot sessions as per invitation of this actress.

Next to him is a kidney transplant patient who utterly hates his older sister because of her wrongdoings. As per my boss, science proves that persons who have gone through kidney transplants are likely to suffer from schizophrenia- a mental disorder manifested by breakdown of thought processes and poor emotional responsiveness.  Basing on what I saw and what he told us, this guy has anger management issues. I hope he does not develop into a full blown schizo, though.

We also had one student who tried his luck in Mandaluyong all the way from Bulacan, only to find his father who, to his surprise is a regular in-and-out inmate for drug trafficking. He used to live with his stepmother who almost killed him. He escaped and struggled in the streets and in orphanages until DLS Center for Street Children taught him.

For the girls, most of them are house maids/ house helpers. Luckily, all of their employers are very supportive of their studies. One said that she needs a scholarship because "ayaw ko naman maging katulong habambuhay;" tear- jerking words from someone who aspires to change her course in life. 

Meanwhile, when I asked a single mother-of-three why she doesn't want to change anything in her life, her quick reply is "kasi po nagbago na 'ko".She is from Cagayan Valley; had 2 kids from her late partner and 1 kid from a married man working in San Miguel. Mind you- his recent partner has two other families. 

I would also like to single out this 32- year old staff worker who wants to take up Accountancy in college. Our concern is mainly the mismatch in his interest vis-a-vis his competence. As much as we wanted to help him, we do not see him as a very good educational and business investment. We are however happy that his kins are proud of him because next year, he will be graduating from High School.

After a grueling six hours of work, I struggled to contain my emotions and I felt so grateful that at age 19, I finished college with honors without having so much trouble to deal with, financially-speaking. (Oh, thank you public school system!) These students have been street children, house maids, bagger, staff, masseuse, etc. yet they know the value of education and as elusive as it may seem, they continue looking for ways to achieve it. In the hope that one day, they too, could be successful.

I hope that in small ways, I could help change their lives. My epiphany: if a person has a school to study to, he is considered a pupil. But if a person has a dream to prepare for, he then becomes a student.

Good News

Last June 20, Manila Bulletin called me and congratulated my entry to their Write To Fame promo (Travel Category) which got into the Top 3. My article won't get to be published though I still got two cinema tickets.

Last night, while I was walking amidst the rain, ABS CBN called me and advised that I am already shortlisted for the Scriptwriting Workshop headed by master writer and personal favorite, Ricky Lee. Immediately after that, I ran back to the office and shared the good news to my teammates.

Good thing they do know how to spoil and support me.

Meanwhile, I will be waiting for my exam and interview. I hope and pray that I could be able to make it big this time.

Thank you for reading. Pardon my blogging.

#Overwhelmed

 

An Ode To The Scribes

While waiting to get a haircut last Sunday, I browsed through a copy of Pilipino Star Ngayon and read an interesting article commending the value of writers to the society:

Ang pagsusulat 

PILANTIK Ni Dadong Matinik (Pilipino Star Ngayon) Updated July 01, 2012 12:00 AM

Pagsusulat pala’y magandang ugali

na taglay ng mga dakilang bayani;

Panulat ni Rizal saka ni Mabini

nagbigay ng dangal sa bayan at lahi!

Bukod sa kanila marami pang iba

na sa pagsusulat ay naging dakila;

Sa ngayo’y nariyan ang maraming diwa

ang mga sinulat ay yaman ng bansa!

Maraming editor at mga reporter

nabuhay, namatay tapat na supporter;

Nang mabuting puso’t gawaing matuwid

na sa buong bansa ay dapat mabatid!

Mga nagsusulat ng nobela’t kwento

ay kinikilala sa lahat ng dako;

Ating nakikita sa TV at radio

kanilang sinulat may aral na ginto!

Mga komentaryo mabuti’t masama

sa dyaryo’t magasin ating nababasa;

Kaya ang magsulat talagang maganda

ideya ng puso nalaman ng bansa!

Mga photographer sa lahat ng lugar

ang kamera nila nagbibigay-linaw;

Sa larawang kuha sa mga lansangan –

nasa caption nito ebidens’yang tunay!

Ang mga sakuna’t malagim na krimen

nailalarawan ng batikang writer;

Kaya sa husgado’y nagbibigay-pansin

sa tamang notasyon ng clerk na magaling!

Kaya ugali kong magsulat ng tula

sa gabi at araw aking ginagawa;

Ito ang gawaing sa akin ay akma

ay dito’y kabilang – Diyos na Dakila!

Ang mga composer, mga mang-aawit

lubha ring maganda ang kanilang hilig;

Kung sila ay wala sa ating daigdig

sa duyan ang sanggol ay di maghihilik!

Old fashioned. True.